What is your hope?

I saw an old, familiar friend at Sal's Pub last night.

Unlike our last encounter, my highly-medicated friend was not tight lipped about his life or his lifestyle. He was relaxed and willing to talk. In hindsight, I'm really glad the Lord guided me back to the bar late in the night to counsel him on that prior occasion. A rapport was established.

As we were initially joined randomly from an old friend at the Legion Bar, I opened with a fun question--"Are you what you do?" Neither of them really had an answer. The other guy stumbled around with our identities being the product of our choices, then concluded "You are whatever you want yourself to be." I tried to convey to them that we all have an intrinsic worth that transcends our circumstances. I even used raw, painful examples--when we saw footage of the bodies of Rwandan men, women, and children choking rivers, we weren't grieving because of what they did, but because of who they are. Both friends caught on...a bit.

The other guy left and I was left with my initial friend. We chatted casually for a few--he mentioned that he missed not having "official" gatherings of our group the past couple of months--and then he summed up his life since I last saw him in four words: My mom has cancer.

After expressing my initial grief at what he just told me, I started asking the "What?" questions: What type of cancer does she have? What comes next? Basic info. Next, the "Who?" questions: Who is still living with her? Who is going with her to her appointments? (I offered.) Who is supporting her? Who is supporting you? Finally, the "How?" questions: How is she doing? How are you doing?

Throughout this, I am trying to focus on listening to his answers and allowing to express himself fully. When I contribute, I try to do so by asking questions and affirming his grief. I use my prior knowledge of him--medications, disorders, etc.--to convey additional sympathy--"I know your life already seemed a bit out of control. I bet it feels like chaos to see one of your few pillars in life shaken like this..."

 At times like this, one has to choose what it is really important to say. The person next to you likely has very little bandwidth to comprehend anything you say, especially if it sounds trite. "So what is your hope in all of this?" I ask. "That the prognosis would be good and my mother would recover," he responded, matter-of-fact.

I realize my question is too vague and that assumes a religious conception of hope, which is increasingly rare to come by. "I hope she does as well, but with all due respect (and I switch to generalizations to keep from getting to personal), we all will die someday. In a since, we are each dying a bit every day. With your struggles, you know this as well as anybody. You know that I am a Christian and what my hope is when dealing with death. What is your hope is dealing with death?"

"My hope is that I will have friends to support me." At that point, I didn't press any further. These conversations are like relationships leading toward marriage--you don't push to quickly nor drag your feet. By God's grace, you try to use wisdom to discern the person and the situation.

I did find his response depressing. He as few loving relationships in his life, and love has been a pretty brutal concept for him over the course of his life. To invest his hopes concerning death in temporal friendships speaks more to his loneliness than his hope. My hope is that this unsettling topic drives to despair--not of life, but of himself. The questions now lay before him as a testimony: Will he take death seriously and seek out genuine hope where it may be found?

This question should never be treated lightly, for your life hinges upon it: What is your hope?

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." (Romans 5:1-5)

Empty Gloves

This Toastmasters speech was drawn from an earlier blog post, and I brought along a set of Army gloves as my visual aid.)

I was a bit more nervous this time around, knowing my topic. I brought my Miller Light up to the podium with me and joked lightheartedly, "This is not simply an emotional crutch, but also a visual aid." Everyone gave a polite chuckle, and I picked up the gloves.

"These are not my gloves, though I have a pair like them. They belong to another soldier, and when I look at these gloves, I wonder certain things about both the gloves and the soldier.

I wonder he first wore these gloves. When I first met him, he was straight out of high school and arrive at drill in his "civvies," not yet having earned the uniform or these gloves. They are small gloves, like mine, reminding me of how this soldier was still a growing boy when I first met him.

Did he use these gloves to dig holes? I bet he used these gloves to carry his weapon, and though he wasn't supposed to, I might have used them to fire his weapon at the range.

When we went out the California desert for three weeks of training, I bet he used these gloves to keep his hands warn during those frigid nights. I remember one of those nights, when we talked into the early hours of the morning about his broken childhood and religious skepticism.

I am sure he wore these gloves when we deployed to Afghanistan together. It was often cooler in the northern part of the country, where he was stationed. He likely wore these gloves on convoys, and he likely took them off when he handled his pizza. He could take down an entire pie in one sitting.

These gloves came back with this soldier from Afghanistan. Again, they were likely useful against the unusual cold of North Fort Hood, Texas, where we reprocessed into the country. A half inch of snow fell on the ground that week.

This soldier and I both flew home first class to Dulles Airport, receiving an embarrassing and humbling round of applause when the passengers learned that we were coming home from Afghanistan.

When I arrived home, my wife and mother greeted me. This soldier may have used these gloves to pick up his baggage, taking it out to his waiting taxi. From there, he drove off into the darkness.

He never came back. Almost a year after that night, that soldier--without these gloves--took his own life.

When I look at these empty gloves, I see empty potential, empty dreams, empty promises. I see empty chairs and empty tables. When I look at these gloves, I see a poignant reminder that many of the soldiers who come home never truly come home.

I know I talk about the Christian faith quite a bit with you all, but this is where its truth shows its force. The only thing that can offer any true hope or solace for empty gloves, empty hearts, empty homes, and an empty world...is an empty tomb."

The older gentleman who critiqued my speech is a 45 year veteran of Toastmasters, but more importantly, a veteran of the Vietnam War. After offering some helpful critiques, he came up to me privately afterward and told me how much the speech resonated with him. "I often think that those who didn't come home are the lucky ones," he said.

No, the truly blessed ones are those who find their hope and home in Jesus Christ.

Who Am I?

I once knew someone with both medical and psychological training who tried to take his own life. There were many contributing factors to this (thankfully, unsuccessful) attempt, but there is one that stands out: An identity defined by circumstances.

In fact, this trait is inevitably found in every person I counsel. I recently spoke to a female soldier who lives for her kids and feels betrayed by her parents and past loves. Her life seems to hang in the balance between an identity rooted in her children and one rooted in her betrayal.

Whether we are proud, self-conscious, or somewhere in between, we all find our identity in all of the wrong places. We look to relationships, but all human love betrays in ways great and small. We look to achievements and experiences, but all of those are fleeting. Sometimes, we'll simply fall back on the crutch that we get to decide who we are and what we will become. But there will always be setbacks, and at such times, we who give meaning to ourselves can also take it away.

Cognitive psychology helps us by showing that we are not merely a set of behaviors that we do or a product of our experiences. It rightly shows us that behind every negative feeling is a negative thought process that can be altered in a positive direction. Yet alterations are always temporary because it relies on the same human faculties that get us in trouble in the first place.

We need an identity that stands beyond our circumstances--something I term an "extra-personal identity" (something that stands outside of oneself). If we have an identity that is rooted in something permanent and unchanging, then no circumstance can compromise our sense of self.

One soldier recently asked me where such an identity can be found. I sent this in response:

For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

(Psalm 139:13-16)

Behind every psychological issue in this world is an identity issue. If you cannot answer the question "Who am I?" satisfactorily; If you are looking for your identity in the wrong places, then you will always be blown and tossed by the winds of circumstances and you will be lucky not to drown.

There is a reason why the fundamental proclamation of a pastor each Sunday is Christ and Christ crucified. It is where the identity question meets the heart of the Gospel. Is your life "hidden with Christ in God?" Each week, even as a follower of Christ, we struggle on a heart-level with our identity in Christ. We struggle to believe that such a God is so loving, and that such love is unchanging. Remember that the Good Shepherd says that none who belong to Him can be snatched from His hand. Do you believe that? The more you find your identity in Christ; The more you truly believe it--the more you will find the rest of your life changing by His grace.

Helping the Poor is Not Enough

I sat down on my bunk, across from another soldier, just after chow.

He was fairly new to our unit, and after asking him some basic questions, I learned that he is (1) incredibly intelligent, (2) entrepreneurial, and (3) financially comfortable.

Unlike many in such a position, he does not exult in his IQ or money. He loves engaging in philanthropy, and after many failed attempts at it, has found a pastor that is helping people people on the ground level in Asia.

Inevitably, I try to draw conversations toward one's faith and upbringing. These topics are harder to get at, but once there, they offer a wealth of insight into someone's basic beliefs and assumptions. This soldier grew up Roman Catholic but didn't reflect much on the teaching. He only became more serious about Christianity after a relationship fell apart to college and he started attending a Baptist church.

Even so, neither he nor his family currently attend church. He also doesn't have confidence in the truth of the central claims of the Gospel. So I tried to connect the dots between his lifestyle and priorities (family and philanthropy) and his need for the Gospel.

"You love to help needy people. Are you needy?" I asked.

He knew that I didn't specific what type of need. "That's a good question," he replied. "I don't know how to answer it."

"I really appreciate how generous you are with your money, but how are you able to relate to those you are helping? How can you empathize and identify with them if you are not needy?

The Bible says that even our good deeds are like filthy rags before the Lord. Don't you think that it's important to address your need before God, even as you are helping others?"

(By the way, one of the reasons why these hard-hitting questions are allowable and by God's grace occasionally effective is that I have tilled the ground with lots of questions and interest in other parts of peoples' lives first.)

The soldier acknowledged that it was time to start looking at these things again. He knew he should probably take his family to church regularly, and his wife is pushing him to do it. But he is wary the anti-intellectualism and attempts at relevance. "If you think it's true--just tell me," he said, referring to the church. "Don't try to make it easier with catchy songs or sayings. Stand on what you believe."

I agreed wholeheartedly. "Don't go because you want to check the box or think it might be useful. Go because it is true. If Jesus is who He says He is and did what we know He did, then it's a game-changer. And if your wife is pushing you to do this, why don't you heed her wisdom and step up for your family's sake?"

He told me that he will start looking for a church. I will follow up with him. Please keep him in prayer!

*"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:3)

Encouraging Signs

When I preached this past Friday night, two of my friends from Toastmasters came (a married couple who serve as leaders for the group). They normally attend a Unitarian Universalist church, and though I preached a sermon that dealt with mankind's hatred of God and sole hope in Jesus, they came away with glowing praise and told other folks at Toastmasters about the visit.

Speaking of Toastmasters, our next meeting was the following Monday. I gave a speech entitled "Is Christianity in Decline?" based on a blog post I wrote about that topic earlier in the week. After the meeting, I struck up a conversation with my waiter and we talked for about 30-40 minutes. He grew up in a legalistic church, went off to UW-Madison for college and left Christianity behind, and has since been struggling to put his life back together alongside his girlfriend. She is pregnant.

They are potentially looking for a church, but a place where they will not be judged and ridiculed. The faith of their youth continues to testify to the God of grace, but they doubt whether there is room in the heart or church of Christ for them. I had coffee with the young man today and tried to walk him back through the man-centered, works-oriented Christianity of his youth and redefine all he learned in light of Scripture. They will hopefully come to our church on Sunday. Please pray!

Yesterday, as I ordered a cup of coffee at a local bakery and awaited a dear brother in the faith to debate the issue of baptism, the woman at the counter looked at me and said "You're a pastor, right?" "Yup." "Could you see if anyone needs a part-time job in our bakery? We need somebody." "Sure, I'd love to get the word out."

"By the way, I'm having a hard time right now." "Why's that?" "I grew up Catholic and raised my first daughter in the church, but didn't raise my second daughter in the church and don't really go anymore. My parents are made at me. And now my younger daughter wants to know what I believe and why we're not going to church."

"Children often ask us the questions we really don't want to answer. Maybe it's time to think over these things and evaluate if this Christianity thing is actually true for your daughter's sake and yours. Why don't you come over for dinner some time and we'll ask you questions and help you think through the matter?" Let's hope we can get them over! (And if anybody needs a part-time, late night job in the Falls, let me know.)

After my coffee time with the young waiter this morning, I swung by Gents Barbershop on Main St. for my monthly high and tight from Nick Papageorgio. He's married to a woman who grew up in a Dutch Reformed church in Oostburg, but they no longer attend a church. We always have a good chat when I come in, and he cuts the hair of a lot of the friends I have made in the community. Today, he announced after my trim that the haircut was on the house. It's the small things. Awesome barber.

Tonight, we had dinner with our young neighbor friends and their little boy (a year older than ours). Our boy was wired and running around everywhere and casually rode a car down a stairwell, which ended with strewn car parts and a boy on his back at the bottom. Despite the distraction and stress that his antics caused, we had a surprisingly substantive conversation with our friends. We learned about their Lutheran and Catholic upbringings (largely cultural and nominal), and their subsequent interest in Christianity now (she is taking membership classes at a Lutheran church). They said that they were interested in reading the Bible, but didn't have one. My wife will make sure they get both a regular Bible and a children's Bible in short order.

By the way, I inquired about a leadership position with Toastmasters if there was need, and I got this response from one of the leaders: You are exactly the kind of person who exudes Toastmaster leadership, a generous spirit, a willingness to engage, and an overall aptitude for fun.

I sometimes feel like a blur of energy out in the community and am often second-guessing things I say and do. This bit of encouragement goes a long way, by God's grace.

Finally, a shout out concerning my lovely wifey: This past weekend, we hosted three couples for dinner on Good Friday before I preached. We also hosted two couples and a single lady for Easter dinner. Alongside preparing these meals, my wife cooked lamb for the first time, made carrot cake and coffee cake from scratch, painted our dining room (for fun!!!), mothered two children, and worked on several articles. She is crazy and I love her for it.

A Few Considerations Before You Vote

I am not in the habit of endorsing particular candidates or legislation on a blog that deals mainly with matters of the faith. It is important to me that you hear Christ, and Him crucified, first and foremost.

That said, I would encourage you to ask certain questions of yourself and bring certain considerations with you into the voting booth:

1) We are a nation of laws, not of men. Those who claim the mantle of men, but not the laws, will have nothing to bind them from trampling men. Those who claim the mantle of the laws (i.e. the Constitution) will be bound to also guard the rights of men.

2) Do not think about your vote solely in terms of the current race. Rather, consider your vote in relation to the presidency. Who do you trust to uphold our laws and nominate judges to the Supreme Court who will do the same? Who do you trust to act on principle, not on popularity? Who do you trust to guide our soldiers into harm's way?

3) Be both principled and practical. You want a leader who shares your values, but will also work hard to achieve the practical outworking of those principles alongside the legislative branch.

4) Examine records closely. You are not only looking for one who shares your values, but also one who has experience guarding them. Beware politicians whose words do not reflect their record. Be wary of politicians who have recently evolved as well. Such evolving is allowed in politics (we are always learning), but are the changes coming from a point of principle or are they sheer politics?

5) Who is willing to stand against the popular fads? Those who bellyache about the tyranny of traditional values are at the same time imposing a tyranny of values to their liking. A wall of separation is being erected between our passions and our reason, and the politically correct orthodoxy that ensues will bring no tangible benefit. Who is willing to be courageous--not angry and uncouth--but courageous in standing athwart these forces and yelling "Stop!"

Finally, once you have voted, rejoice! The Lord has graciously given us a political and economic system that both generally work to guard life and liberty. Sure, they don't work perfectly, but no human system will produce Heaven. And if, God forbid, we are denied life or liberty (and the two are bound), rejoice! For there is a King and Kingdom that stand over and above all earthly thrones, and a salvation wrought not by the blood of revolutionaries, but by the blood of a Savior.

Are there less Christians in America?

At some point in the past year, a poll came out with this starting conclusion: Between 2007 and 2014, the percentage of American Christians dropped from 78% to 70%. As the overall population of the United States grew, the population of Christians shrunk. Data found here: http://www.pewforum.org/2015/05/12/americas-changing-religious-landscape/.

Before you rejoice or lament over such a dramatic shift, perhaps you should ask: Is this actually true?

Some of the data can be validated in part: For example, we know through denominational statistics that the mainline Protestant denominations are shrinking. This should not surprise us because these denominations have generally exchanged the historic "other-worldly" message of Christianity for a more palatable "this-worldly" message. A church becomes irrelevant when it has lost touch with the transcendent.

But a larger point must be made here: The decline here is not necessarily in the number of actual Christians, but in the number of people who identify as Christians. This is the true flaw in the study. How can you ask people if they are something if you don't define what that something is? It is totally subjective. If you ask me if I am fast, you are asking me to also define "fast." I could define it by a certain pace over a certain distance, or in comparison with other runners. My answer, however, will not tell you how fast I am but how fast I think I am.

Words have meaning, not just interpretations. In order to conduct an effective study of Christianity in America, you must first come up with some sort of standard definition of Christianity--perhaps "One who believes in the person and work of Jesus Christ alone for his or her salvation." Of course, all of that language is broad and could be unpacked. You could also further drill down and try to get past "nominal" (name-only) Christianity and ask questions about prayer, Bible reading, and church attendance. But these things are echoes, not at the essence, of Christianity.

According to historian Thomas Kidd in his book God of Liberty, the number of actual Christians throughout American history is much smaller than we often suppose. Using some of the same criteria as mentioned above, historians have speculated that the population of Christians in America has generally hovered around 15% of the population. That number may also be declining, but there is no way to determine that through asking people for their opinion of what group they belong to.

Of course, this rebuttal of the findings doesn't change the fact that less people consider themselves to be Christians. Might we speculate on alternative interpretations of why this is the case?

If those who hold to the core message of Christianity--the Gospel--have generally only made up about 15% of the American population, why would the vast majority of Americans consider themselves Christian? Well, Christianity used to be much more popular in American society than it is now. Politicians had to assert their (nominal) Christian credentials and "good Christians" (as if such a thing exists) were considered staples of their communities. Christianity was also closely intertwined with Americanism--to the extent that the untrained could would barely be able to tell them apart.

In past generations, the Christian label brought with it certain social benefits. The same cannot be claimed today in most areas of the country. Either you claim to be a tolerant Christian and not one of those evangelical Christians, or you face a certain degree of stigma and scorn. Christianity in its true form is no longer fashionable and more and more, faith in Christ comes with a cost.

I would argue that the decline in self-identified Christians is not a reflection of the number of actual Christians, but a reflection of the increasing cost of being a Christian. And with the increase of soft persecution--suppression of speech, economic retaliation, etc.--I would expect the number of self-identified Christians to continue to decline dramatically.

On the bright side, as Christian "morals" are no longer considered by many to be indispensable to American society, and as they are treated more as a hindrance to society, people will be forced to look at Christianity in terms of truthfulness rather than usefulness. It doesn't matter what sort of effect Christianity has on society--Is it true? A useful belief does not sustain people when it is no longer deemed useful. A true belief will sustain people regardless of whether it is deemed useful--for the Truth is mightier than the hoard.