I have conducted about thirty counseling appointments since arriving in country, not counting those whose circumstances I know and simply drop by to update me every so often, or those who I visit and engage on a more informal basis.
In my tracking these appointments, I divide between "Tier 1" (a check up), "Tier 2" (in need of repair), and "Tier 3" (a full breakdown). Thankfully, there have been no Tier 3's, though there have been plenty of time-intensive, emotion-investing Tier 2's. I break down these cases by type, and while there is the occasional case of combat stress or professional stress, most of the cases are related to family--upbringing, marriage, parenting, and financial hardship.
With these things in mind, and always eager to get more education, I applied for, and was admitted into the Masters program for counseling at Westminster Theological Seminary in Philadelphia. I will hopefully take 6-9 credits for each of the two semesters I am out here, and an addition 2-3 during the winter interim. They have graciously allowed me to do a fair number of initial credits online, though I'll need to snag some of the remaining classes in person through intensive training at later points.
I am blessed to be a part of this WTS program. There are a lot of schools out there that provide degrees online, particularly in conjunction with the Army, but I wanted to go to the best school of biblical counseling and I have been convinced over the years that WTS is the place. Their professors have been trained in the best psych programs in the country, thus they are incredibly learned, wide-ranging in their analyses, and piercing in their critiques. And their books are just freaking good!
In an attempt to get a jump on the first semester, I have already read Sinclair Ferugson's The Christian Life, which provides a doctrinal basis for understanding the Christian life. I am now reading secular psycho-analyst Irving Yalom's work, Love's Executioner, which begins with a though-provoking approach and analysis of psychology, followed by eight stories in his intense engagement with highly complex cases. The messiness of the cases remind me a lot of some of my own cases, and I appreciate that this reknowned psychologist is often as flummoxed and humbled as I am. Psychology is more of an art than a science. And as useful as Yalom's work is--it is clear that his patients are all wrestling with theological and philosophical issues at the core of their psychological problems. Yalom highlights the problems, but can offer only temporal satisfaction to the deep wrestling with death, love and life.
In Song of Songs 8, life and love are presented as barriers--even brazen defiance--to the overbearing reality and hardship of death. Where can that love be found? And how can it be trusted?
I have one soldier who wrestles with a lot of hard life circumstances. He has been abandoned, abused, abandoned again, and have committed acts of abuse. Like me (and a therapist can never entirely remove his own experiences and emotions from his cases), the soldier has a hard time becoming vulnerable. Why? It seems that he views his vulnerability as weakness, and as has been his life history, weakness and other flaws results in the severing of bonds of love. And he can't forgive himself for some of his own sinful acts. Why? It seems that the conditional love he has always been shown has been embedded deeply in his own self-perception. He cannot love himself.
But he professes faith in Jesus Christ, and as such, he has the resources to start combating these vicious philosophical and psychological deceptions. The common denominator in most cases I deal with is an inability to trust in unconditional love. Most of my soldiers grew up in broken and dysfunctional families, where love always seemed conditioned on behavior. They now perpetuate these patterns into the next generation.
For those who have faith in Jesus Christ, there is a concrete model for unconditional love. It is found in the God, who in love, elected a people from before time began. It had nothing to do with one's works--good or bad--but entirely upon His own will. And as the origin of the Father's love is completely unconditioned (Eph. 1), and as God never changes (Mal. 3, Js. 1), then His abiding love is never conditioned either. His affection has been permanently set upon His people through the work of Jesus Christ and sealed unto eternity by His Spirit. Because Jesus, in the Father's justice and mercy, was forsaken, God's people will never be forsaken. Nothing can separate them from the love of God in Christ Jesus. No one can snatch them from the hand of the Good Shepherd.
So instead of bringing the baggage of a life of conditional love into a new marriage and family, Christians have the opportunity to bring the light of yoke of God's unconditional love in Jesus Christ. This is what breaks the bonds of divorce and abuse and what enables hearts to become vulnerable and intimate--a healthy view of God's love and mercy. A knowledge that in His love, we are safe.
