War, Reality, and The Hobbit

Of all books stacked upon her nightstand, my wife chose Odysseus in America, a psychological book dealing with combat trauma and trial of a soldier's homecoming, all through the lens of the great Greek hero, Odysseus. It is often assigned at the War College.

Many of the book's insights (mediated through my wife) have synced up with my own experience. More important, the book is transforming the way my wife thinks about war and even her interpretation of the whole of human experience.

My wife now "gets it." I never gave her an inside peak at the Army lifestyle before I deployed, nor did she feel able to enter into it as she simply tried to survive during the deployment. But there is so much more to war than most people realize, and that's the biggest gap that exists between those who have gone to war and those who have perceived it from afar.

War may be a simple symptom of a broken world, where rivalry, pride, and greed slip the bounds of the community and entangle nations and peoples, or it may be a "necessary evil," that is utilized by just nations to maintain a degree of peace and order (as a measure of God's common grace). In either case, whether just or not, war is irretrievably a part of the human experience.

It rips the shroud off of illusions of invincibility and insulation. It forces us to look at the costs of a broken world and the human sacrifice often necessitated to restrain the chaos. It litters the streets of Boston with limbs introduces flag-draped coffins on the evening news. We flee from war like a boy who flees from a girl with cooties, but eventually, she catches us all. We cannot escape her.

But alongside the more grisly realities of a broken world and corrupted human nature, war also introduces us to beautiful (even if tragic) themes concerning the real world. We live in a world where men will willingly go off to war in order to protect their homes and loved ones. We live in a world where one man will fall upon a grenade for the person next to him without a second thought. We live in a world where those who take such a mantle upon their shoulders receive their praise.

And when we understand these things, we interpret the world anew. My wife never like the Lord of the Rings movies, but she was mesmerized the other night while watching The Hobbit. Why? She could understand why this pack of dwarfs were willing to follow a leader they believed in, for a cause that they believed in (home), alongside beloved friends that they believed in. She got it.

(As an aside, that is why you can criticize the policies or opinions of a war time president, but not his motives or his character. The leader of soldiers embodies the morality of their cause. Those who ignorantly argued that "Bush lied, people died" or level similar attacks upon President Obama are undermining the leaders or our soldiers and thus undermining the soldiers themselves.)

Bilbo finally confesses, late in the first movie, that the reason he was willing to leave his beloved Shire was so that, in essence, his friends could return to their beloved mountain. We will give up so very much to maintain the peace and prosperity of our home, as well as for our friends.

And since my wife now "gets it," she not only appreciated a more "masculine" movie, but appreciated the mind behind it. J.R.R. Tolkien served in the trenches in WWI. He was withdrawn for health reasons just before most of his unit was wiped out. He later stated that every friend of his but one was killed in that war. Those experiences profoundly affect a man. You can see them at work in his writing: the beauty of hearth and home, the grim duty of leaving to protect it, the deep bonds of platonic love, the grisly necessity of war, and the beauty that can follow the ashes.

At the end of Lord of the Rings, Frodo travels to a distant paradise, leaving behind a Shire that was worth protecting, but now unfamiliar to him. There too, we find the young soldier, Tolkien, and every soldier who comes back from war. They fought for a world they no longer belong to. Some can carry on like Samwise, with their own Rosy Cotton and handful of kids; others look with longing to a future life without tears. A handful will do both, finding in Christ, their hope and home, the strength and meaning to pass through this vale of tears.

On Porn and Dessert...

I don't like dessert. Well, that is not exactly true. I am more of a meat tooth than a sweet tooth, but if you drop off mint chocolate chip ice cream or coconut cream pie, I may over-indulge.

In fact, that's why I don't like dessert. I don't like having sweets around the house because they are more satisfying in theory than in practice and echo with David Spade's voice: "Ugh, I am watching you get fatter" (spoken to Chris Farley in Tommy Boy).

Desserts never truly satisfy. The initial taste is alluring, the aftertaste is guilt and regret.

In this way, dessert is like pornography. It holds lots of promise--sexual satisfaction without selflessness, pleasure without responsibility, etc. But like the fruit of tree of the knowledge of good and evil, picking the forbidden fruit has consequences.

There are lots of statistics regarding pornography addiction circulating, but regardless of which ones you examine, they are all startling. For example, one statistic shows that 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women are currently addicted to pornography.

Look around the pews at Church. Half of the men and a quarter of the women are likely addicted to pornography. In my experience working with people on this issue, the numbers are likely higher. Now take a moment and look at your own heart. Either you are one of these statistics, or you are lusting in your heart (which is tantamount to adultery), or you are one of the rare freaks of nature who doesn't struggle in this regard, which likely means you have a self-righteousness problem.

I would guess that about 9 out of every 10 men and 4 or 5 out of every 10 women in our society dabble in pornography on occasion. And probably half of each don't really care.

But we should. Pornography gradually makes you a glutton for instant gratification. I sent out a British article on this blog about six months ago, showing how habitual use of pornography amongst British youth totally warped their view of time, relationships, love, sex, and the future.

When my son is placed in his high chair in preparation for dinner, he inevitably begins to whine. He loves food and he doesn't want to wait. I am the same way. If I am hungry and want meat, don't get in my way! Our gluttony turns what should be a more pleasurable experience into a means for immediate gratification.

How do we respond to this epidemic of the heart? For one, we should be diligent in spending intentional time with the Lord in Word and prayer. Our hearts have a hard time holding tightly to two loves--usually one is of necessity pushed to the margins. Second, we shouldn't let a sense of false piety get in the way of making hard choices, like getting a filter placed on our computer, or giving our computer to a loved one each night.

There is one ministry that I think is particularly helpful in this regard: http://www.xxxchurch.com/. They have a free program (or paid, with more benefits) called "X3 Watch" that reports all questionable site visits to three accountability buddies of your choosing once a week.

But in all of this, remember that there is hope both short-term and long-term. Short-term, there is the knowledge that if you are in Christ, you are a new creation, and by God's grace, He will transform your mind and conform you to the image of His Son (2 Cor. 5:17; Rom. 12:2; Col. 3:10; Eph. 4:24). You are growing by the day.

Long-term, there is the knowledge that it is Christ's righteousness, not your own, that pardons you before the judgment seat of God. You are not a sex addict in any regard if you are in Christ, because He was not a sex addict and you are hidden in His blood and perfect righteousness (Col. 3:1-4). If you struggle, take practical steps to protect yourself, entrusting yourself to the Savior who defines you as His own and is working in and through you by the day.

The Importance of Confrontation

Let's start with a simple scenario: Whenever you gather with a group of friends, one of them always goes out of his/her way to criticize you. You don't know whether it is mean-spirited or playful, but you do know that you don't like it.

At first, you just play it off or ignore it, figuring it is just a few words and nothing to get worked up about. Maybe you'll look to sensitive or defensive if you bring the matter up. But it becomes routine. You start to harbor resentment toward this person and either begin to become aggressive ("Oh yeah..."), passive aggressive ("Let's see how you like the silent treatment."), or gossipy.

Whatever the case, you are both now consumed by an unpleasant feeling and acting out against this person through whatever means. And this is what typically happens when there is not a confrontation.

Nobody likes confrontations. If I had a nickle for every "Brother, we need to talk" talk that I have received, I would be a rich man. I hate them, whether giving or receiving. They are always a buzz kill, often awkward, and are volatile--the person confronted is more likely to be defensive or argumentative than repentant. But we still need to do it. Here are a few reasons why:

1) Confrontation allows for free expression and resolution of negative feelings.

You don't have to agree with the source of my offense, but if you at least hear me out, I'm less likely to hold onto negative feelings. See how that works? Sometimes, we just need to be heard. This is where Job's friends really came to drop the ball. Job might have been wrong in some of his assessments regarding his suffering, but he didn't need their agreement, he needed their ears.

When you confront someone, you are doing it for yourself as much as the other person. Feelings exposed to the light of day are much easier to manage (even if there is not repentance). When feelings are simply harbored, they can be felt but not really identified and treated. When I put them into words, they are under my control--I am not under their control. I can then lift them specifically before the throne of grace and forgive, regardless of repentance by another party..

2) Confrontation often heals relationships--at least from one side.

This truth proceeds from the last one. When feelings are expressed, they can be resolved and healed--at least from one side. You don't need someone to agree with you or even necessarily hear you out, but once you've expressed your feelings, they are more manageable.

3) Confrontation often leads to repentance.

It is not just individuals that are healing through confrontation, but often relationships as well. When someone is confronted with their words or behavior in a loving and gentle way, he/she may very well be convicted of their sin (or neglect) and repent.

This does not mean that they will confess that what they did was sin. I once accidentally offended a soldier of mine. I had not seen her in a while, and as I do with all of my soldiers, I asked her how things were going with her boyfriend. Several other people were around when I asked this. I forgot how private she is, and that she doesn't want anyone to know she has a boyfriend.

She immediately turned to me and said "That's rude!" I was shocked by her response, mumbled for a moment, and then quickly changed the subject. I felt horrible. A little while later, I apologized to this soldier when I caught her in private. It wasn't that I directly sinned against her, but I was foolish, not remembering her preferences. And even if I didn't think I did anything wrong, I hurt her feelings, which is cause enough for repentance.

But in confronting me in that moment, I had the opportunity to repent, rather than hearing about my nosiness or my soldier's unaddressed anger from other parties down the road.

My dad is a great example to me in this regard. Like me (and everybody else), he hates being confronted. But he doesn't grow defensive or argumentative. He listens to what is said, works to understand it, then repents.

4) Confrontation exposes sin patterns that might otherwise go unaddressed.

Often times, we are doing a favor for another person when we confront them. I realized anew recently that some generalizations I make are taken personally by one of my loved ones. I could have guessed as much, but I didn't really get it until this person confronted me about it. She explained how exactly my remarks were perceived in a way I could really understand.

I apologized and will seek in the future to avoid such generalizations with her. I know that I am a sinner, as David confesses, that sin is always before me. But I often miss the exact manifestations of that sin and how it affects others. When you confront me on something, even if I think you're way off the mark, I will likely be pricked by at least one thing you said and work on that issue. I will repent, by God's grace, and endeavor to improve, by God's grace.

5) Confrontation reminds us of our standing before God.

Confrontation tells us about ourselves. When I confront you, I am acknowledging that I live in a broken world with broken relationships and a breaking heart. When you confront me, I am forced to admit that I take a hand in the breaking of this world, relationships, and hearts. In other words, it forces me to deal seriously with the issue of my sin.

In addition, I realize that sin, as an offense against love and righteousness, must be addressed. In this realization, I must reflect upon a holy God and how He views sin. The offense of sin is much graver against God than man. Though David had an affair with Bathsheba and had her husband killed, he confessed to God with broken heart soon after: "Against you, you alone, have I sinned" (Ps. 51). David sinned against others, but there is nothing as serious as sinning against a holy God. I am worthy of not only His confrontation, but His eternal condemnation (Rom. 6:23).

Finally, confrontation leads me to the throne of grace. The fact is that God will not give me His justified judgment of death and torment. Instead, the Son of God willingly walked the perfect path on my behalf, offering to God His sinless life, and then bore God's judgment upon my sin. He who knew no sin became sin so that I might be the righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:21).

When you confront a dodo like me, you give me an opportunity to own my sin and what it deserves anew, as well as find my life once more in Christ and endeavor to live anew, standing upon His grace alone (Rom. 5). Your loving confrontation also reminds me of my Savior, who came to me in mercy, not in judgment.

Who Cares If Heaven Is Real?

Okay...I do care. Knowing that it is real and that my citizenship is there is of immense comfort.

I find it interesting that some Christians and others tend to deify this movie, as if by "proving" to people that Heaven exists, that will move them closer to eternal life. I find it even more interesting that some of the same people who deify it were likely some of the same people who demonized Noah. We blast one movie for twisting Scripture, but celebrate another movie that doesn't even deal with Scripture and is just as likely to promote Universalism. So Heaven is real...

Will that make any difference for you?

Nope. Not if you don't know how to get there. A number of religions ultimately profess that Heaven in some form or another is real. Even folks who consider themselves "spiritual, but not religious" believe in a Heaven where they will be accepted because their good deeds outweigh their bad deeds. So believing in Heaven will not save you.

In fact, it may further breed in you a sense of false hope. In the greater span of human history, convincing someone of Heaven has not proven difficult. Why? Because even in our unbelief, we still bear witness to the power and glory of God in Creation and in the law written upon our hearts (Rom. 1-2). We all believe in God (even the demons--James 2!) and would naturally suppose that He would have a heavenly abode. We just suppress the truth in unrighteousness and refuse to recognize our need for His saving work. So believing in Heaven is just as likely to condemn as save.

Is someone's experience a reliable guide for truth?

Nope. Lots of people experienced the miracles and perfect life of Jesus Christ as He walked this earth. Many of them never believed. Why? Because we are saved by faith, which comes through hearing the Word, not by sight. The hubris of Western society in the past couple of centuries has been this pernicious belief in the power of the senses, reason, or experience to uncover truth. In other words, the ability to man in and of himself to uncover truth. We cannot do that. Truth must be divinely given. A creature cannot fathom the mind of his Creator.

For ultimate truth--saving truth--we are dependent solely on God's supreme revelation to mankind, which is the Bible. While the senses and reason and experience all deceive and bring condemnation, the Bible makes us wise unto salvation. This does not mean that the human pursuit of knowledge is purely vain, but it only gains true and significant meaning under the light of Scripture. So some kid claims to have an experience of Heaven. We all have experiences. We don't all have truth.

Bottom line: There is no ladder that we can ascend to Heaven--neither logical proofs nor scientific formulas nor mystical experiences nor moral goodness. There is a great big gulf between us and God, one that can't be bridged by intelligence, emotions, or morality. It is a gulf of sin. The human race is in rebellion against God, and human overtures of peace are impossible when they continue to carry the traitor's flag. Our only hope we have is that God sent His Son down the ladder, so to speak, to rectify this sin problem and reconcile sinners to a holy and just God.

The fact that Heaven is for real provides no hope if that is not your eternal abode. What you need to believe is that Jesus is for real--that He is truly, eternally God and man, and that He lived the perfect life and died an accursed death in our place. We can only be raised to Heaven if we are raised with Christ in His resurrection.

Who cares if Heaven is real if you don't have access to it. I care about it because I call it home, by the grace of God in Jesus Christ my Savior and Lord. And if I care about you, I will not get distracted by such abstractions and distractions as whether Heaven exists. Instead, I will ask if you have encountered the risen Christ, revealed in His Word, who alone can prepare a place for you.

Should Parents Ban Books?

A Patrick Henry College graduate, now writing for The American Conservative, recently penned this thoughtful post on whether Christian parents should "ban" books:  http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2014/04/28/should-christian-parents-ban-books/

I put "ban" in quotation marks because the term itself it inherently pejorative. You remember when Sarah Palin was accused of trying to "ban" a couple of library books in Alaska? This was an effective way to perpetuate the idea that she was a backwards, unsophisticated fundamentalist.

In our age of freedom-without-borders, we equate the banning of books, even within the private confines of a home, with the burning of books. A parent who exercises discretion over what her pre-teen reads is treated like the firefighters in Fahrenheit 451, whose primary purpose is to set fire to books. This was considered one of the great symbolic marks of a tyrannical society.

And of course, there's the famous line from 19th century German poet, Heinrich Heine, "Where they burn books, they will, in the end, burn people as well." His chilling line seemed particularly validated by Hitler's ovens.

But the private banning of books is not the public burning of books. In fact, we all privately ban books to a certain extent by making sure that our children are educated. In an age of constant information overload, we need to be selective in the books we read and that our children read.

We do not want our children reading Fifty Shades of Gray for example, when that time would be better spent on To Kill A Mockingbird or Harry Potter (or really, anything that is not pornographic).

What criteria might a parent use to prioritize what their children read, and how such books are read? Here is my off-the-cuff breakdown:

Recommended for Independent Reading. There are certain books that require minimal parental involvement and accountability. For example, books that are spiritually edifying (and reinforce the child's worldview), historical classics, and uncontroversial "rabbit trail" books. Perhaps my child would like to learn more about prayer--I will hand him A Praying Life by Paul Miller. Is he interested in a great adventure? Perhaps The Odyssey will do. If he gets hooked on a book series, say, The Hardy Boys, I will continue to feed him those books, one at a time (as long as he is not neglecting his school work). I can hand these off and let my child own his reading experience.

Recommended with Parental Involvement. All books will require some involvement, as a child will inevitably have questions. If he reads Huckleberry Finn, for example, I would need to explain to him why we don't use the N-word today. But I think the primary books that fit into this category are quality works of pop culture, which require critical engagement. Take Harry Potter, which is the great young adult fiction of our time. It won't necessarily reinforce my child's worldview (nor will it necessarily detract from it), but I should read it with my child in order to critically engage it with a biblically informed worldview. In the battle of good versus evil, why do we root for the good? Why do you think Harry is sometimes disrespectful toward authority figures? What makes Harry's self-sacrifice so meaningful?

Not Recommended, but Permissible. Children to varying degrees are intellectually curious. They may want to read Nietzche or Freud, The Golden Compass or something similar. These books have the potential to be destructive, but they should probably not be forbidden. They are not entirely destructive, to the extent that they are worth engaging. They can even be helpful in understanding culture. For example, Nietzche's famous statement that "God is dead" comes at the end of a train of various philosophical and cultural movements, many involving the Church, that inform our understanding of the culture and of the Church (i.e., if we treat Jesus as merely an experience that fulfills all of our felt needs, it is a lot easier to lump Jesus in with the Easter Bunny and proclaim Him dead). The key for these books is that parents accompany their child at every step of this more perilous literary journey.

Not Permissible. There must always be that line where we declare "You shall not pass." Pornography, for one, is overwhelming the younger generations of American society. It used to be very hard for boys and girls to get their hands upon it, but now it takes a few clicks of a mouse. For boys, pornography tends to make more visual forms. For girls, more story-based (i.e., Fifty Shades). Yet girls are becoming much more physically wired as they become more exposed to the internet. Knowing the hormonal nature of our youth and their need to be slowly guided into making wise and responsible decisions, we have a certain obligation to protect them. A number of youth novels--often based on TV shows like Pretty Little Liars are in essence, soft pornography. We want to carefully nurture the seeds of true love in our children's hearts, not the pale imitations offered as entertainment today. For girls, why not Pride and Prejudice? For boys, The Princess Bride.

We must recognize as well that there is no book like the Bible, which offers divinely inspired narratives, poetry, and proverbs of wisdom. This book is not only great literature, it is God-breathed, and thus not only fills the mind but the heart and soul as well. Because it is God's very Word, it transforms the reader, making him wise unto salvation and equipping him for every good work (2 Tim. 3:15-17). In the Bible, we don't simply meet a cast of amusing characters--we meet the risen Christ, who offers Himself to us in the beauty of His grace and saving work. We are to meditate on His Word day and night (Josh. 1), for it is the power of God for all who believe (Rom. 1).