...is a buzzword of many younger types today, perhaps even a badge of honor that grants you acceptance and access to peoples' lives. The term is closely related to sincerity, a term bestowed upon me by a lower enlisted soldier a few nights ago.
I was mouthing off as normal. This occasionally gets me in trouble, but is usually appreciated by soldiers throughout the unit. I had just joked around with two of my workout buddies who are both big and black (one from Congo, and the other has done 100+ funerals with me). When they were done with their workout, they came and got me to go back to the barracks. When we got back, I told them and the others in the barracks that I thought what anyone else would think if two big, black men appeared behind them, "I imagine these good gentlemen would like to engage in deep conversation." The soldiers, predominantly black, howled in laughter, knowing what most people think about when two big, black men appear behind them.
A few minutes later, I was talking with one of these soldiers. I would not naturally have much in common with this soldier. I was born in the suburbs; he was born in the projects. I am a 30 year old officer; he is a 21 year old lower enlisted soldiers. You get the point. At one point, an NCO was telling this soldier that he should memorize the NCO creed if he wants to get promoted to the NCO corps. This soldier was making excuses. I told him, "You know the CDR has told the officers that we should know the NCO creed as well--why don't we learn it together?" He turned to me and said "Wow, you're really sincere."
I was not expecting that reaction. In fact, my blustery personality can often be read as superficial. But this soldier saw my heart and the fact that I really did care about him and wanted to see his grow and do well. I must strive, by God's grace, to have a similar reputation with all of my soldiers. The perception of sincerity fosters trust and vulnerability. Inevitably, there are those couple of soldiers who don't want me around. My greetings are usually met by a brief, terse reply. Yet even that handful of soldiers is a group I must strive to engage and love.
One of the disadvantages of being constantly on the move--briefing, studying, talking, participating, listening, reading--is that I rarely allow my heart and mind to slow down. This will be one of my great struggles over this deployment. As much I love always being engaged with someone or something, I must create and guard time and energy for the silent disciplines--honest and humble prayer, meditating on God's Word, journaling, and laying my thoughts and feelings bare before the Lord. My consistence in these activities will be a good gauge of my overall dependence upon the Lord.
Ps. 42:1-4 As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, the living God. When shall I come and appear before God. My tears have been my food day and night, while they say all the day long "Where is your God?" I remember these things as I pour out my soul, how I would go with the throng and lead them in processsion to the house of God with glad songs and shouts of praise, a multitude keeping festival.
The Psalmist recognizes his most basic need: to be satisfied by the living God. He thus waits upon the God who alone can satisfy. He casts his eyes to the worldly plane, and considers his sufferings. His eyes are full of tears. His ears are full of jeers. Hopefully condemnation rains upon his soul in his time of need. But then he does as God's people through history have done: remembered God's grace. Living in view of such mercy, particularly that of Christ Jesus dying for the worst of sinenrs, enables believers to press on toward the goal of appearing before their God. The God who so faithfully had led us in days gone by will surely see us through until His appointed day.
Notice the psychological process in this statement. In the midst of sorrow and suffering, a new mindset is needed (as cognitive psychologists will argue). Yet that mindset only comes in reflecting upon concrete, redemptive, historical realities wrought by the very hand of God. And the heart of those very realities, the redemptive work of Christ, is the work then continued by the Holy Spirit in the transforming of our minds (Rom. 12:2). We dispute the darkness, not with our own filthy rags we call good deeds, but with the righteous life of Christ, now credited to us.
1.6.13
Power Outage
It wouldn't be the Army without something like a massive power-outsage every so often. At least it's planned--from 0900 to 1400 today. As a result (and due a portion of our soldiers traveling to another post for the next two weeks), the rest of us have a "free day" today. Perhaps I can catch up on a few phone calls, polish up plans for services tomorrow, due some good reading, workout, and spend time with soldiers. I'm hitting the gym most every day and hoping to get back in "young person" shape, though I'm now basking on the dark side of thirty years of age.
I'll be spearheading the group sojourn to the Ft. Hood 5k in two weeks. Until that time, I'll be working to improve my running time, as well as coordinate rewards for a unit that was willing to do a 5k together. I've asked our CDR to convey his pride to the soldiers (especially for the "do not leave a fallen comrade" clause that will keep everybody moving until the whole unit is across the line). Maybe we'll have pizza or something too.
I enjoyed bonding with the chaplain who was here before me (left this morning). He is an evangelical minister in the United Methodist Church. He has been in for a lot longer time than me and working on his PhD. Very thoughtful man and wonderful intellectual sparring partner. Please pray for his son, who has Aspergers, and his wife who is trying to manage their son in the wake of the good chaplain's departure.
Some thoughts on Psalm 42 to come later...
I'll be spearheading the group sojourn to the Ft. Hood 5k in two weeks. Until that time, I'll be working to improve my running time, as well as coordinate rewards for a unit that was willing to do a 5k together. I've asked our CDR to convey his pride to the soldiers (especially for the "do not leave a fallen comrade" clause that will keep everybody moving until the whole unit is across the line). Maybe we'll have pizza or something too.
I enjoyed bonding with the chaplain who was here before me (left this morning). He is an evangelical minister in the United Methodist Church. He has been in for a lot longer time than me and working on his PhD. Very thoughtful man and wonderful intellectual sparring partner. Please pray for his son, who has Aspergers, and his wife who is trying to manage their son in the wake of the good chaplain's departure.
Some thoughts on Psalm 42 to come later...
31.5.13
Where Psychology Falls Short
One of the things I love about my daily conversations with soldiers is their ability to think deeply. I talked with a lower enlisted soldier about the ethics of abortion. We disagreed on the issue, but instead of spitting out soundbytes, we discussed matters such as the origin of personhood, equal protection under the law, and whether circumstances--however dire--negate a fundamental right.
The person across from the enlisted soldier is a high-ranking officer. I have discussed religion with him many-a-time, as he believes that the integrity of one's spirituality is defined by whether one adhere's to it. I am of the mind that a spirituality that simply baptizes one's beliefs and choices is self-indulgent. There is no accountability to a higher standard, no responsibility toward others.
The value of these warm and civil conversations between people with widely divergent worldviews is found in peeling back the veneer of the "What I believe" in favor of the deeper "Why I believe it." Behind every assertion is a worldview--ultimately theological in nature--that speaks to the existence in activity of God, the origin, nature and purpose of man, etc. This deeper plane is the one worth probing, resulting in a new calibur of conversation.
In that vein...
This is why psychology will always fall short in the realm of mental health. As discussed yesterday, there are some psychological pioneers with wonderful methods for self-improvement. The "learned helplessness" model is particularly fascinating and useful. At the end of the day, however, the ABC's of identifying and disputing one's explanatory style, however helpful, is not ultimately satisfying. It takes the same nature of man that is fundamentally broken (though dignified), seeks to reinterpret a thought process that belongs to a broken mind, in order to restore what will still be a broken person.
In an age in which the "spiritual furniture" has more or less been discarded, and the consequent rise of man's self-esteem has made him particularly vulnerable to the realities of a broken world and broken nature, we again return to man as the subject of his own hope. In other words, we are asking him to rely upon the same nature to save him that failed him the first place. He identifies his negative thought patterns, but mistakes the symptom for the disease, which is really the pervasive power of sin upon every human faculty, including the mind. In misdiagnosing this illness, he entrusts himself to the same thing that failed him in the first place, creating an endless cycle of failure, misdiagnosis, temporary change, failture, misdiagnosis...
The Bible asserts that man's fundamental problem is his sin. There is no integrity in self-justification, but in humbling oneself before the God who is just in His judgments and who alone can justify. In Ps. 42 (the passage I'm memorizing), the Psalmist continually looks to God for his hope and salvation, knowing that the a darkened world and human race only finds its light in Him. Of course, one is ultimately only secure by grace through faith in Christ. By His perfect life and atoning death, only He can make a race a dual sinner-sufferers into "new creations." Only He can guarantee that one's life can be "hidden with Christ in God" so that no one "can snatch you from [His] hand."
This security will not always be felt by the redeemed sinner, but it will never be separated from the redeemed sinner either. As a result, there is no longer a chaotic quest for security that latches onto a false hope that slips through fingers like sand, but simply a growth in security through the power of the Holy Spirit, the gracious tools of the ordinary means of grace (preaching/sacraments/prayer), and the God who "works in you to will and work according to His good pleasure."
The person across from the enlisted soldier is a high-ranking officer. I have discussed religion with him many-a-time, as he believes that the integrity of one's spirituality is defined by whether one adhere's to it. I am of the mind that a spirituality that simply baptizes one's beliefs and choices is self-indulgent. There is no accountability to a higher standard, no responsibility toward others.
The value of these warm and civil conversations between people with widely divergent worldviews is found in peeling back the veneer of the "What I believe" in favor of the deeper "Why I believe it." Behind every assertion is a worldview--ultimately theological in nature--that speaks to the existence in activity of God, the origin, nature and purpose of man, etc. This deeper plane is the one worth probing, resulting in a new calibur of conversation.
In that vein...
This is why psychology will always fall short in the realm of mental health. As discussed yesterday, there are some psychological pioneers with wonderful methods for self-improvement. The "learned helplessness" model is particularly fascinating and useful. At the end of the day, however, the ABC's of identifying and disputing one's explanatory style, however helpful, is not ultimately satisfying. It takes the same nature of man that is fundamentally broken (though dignified), seeks to reinterpret a thought process that belongs to a broken mind, in order to restore what will still be a broken person.
In an age in which the "spiritual furniture" has more or less been discarded, and the consequent rise of man's self-esteem has made him particularly vulnerable to the realities of a broken world and broken nature, we again return to man as the subject of his own hope. In other words, we are asking him to rely upon the same nature to save him that failed him the first place. He identifies his negative thought patterns, but mistakes the symptom for the disease, which is really the pervasive power of sin upon every human faculty, including the mind. In misdiagnosing this illness, he entrusts himself to the same thing that failed him in the first place, creating an endless cycle of failure, misdiagnosis, temporary change, failture, misdiagnosis...
The Bible asserts that man's fundamental problem is his sin. There is no integrity in self-justification, but in humbling oneself before the God who is just in His judgments and who alone can justify. In Ps. 42 (the passage I'm memorizing), the Psalmist continually looks to God for his hope and salvation, knowing that the a darkened world and human race only finds its light in Him. Of course, one is ultimately only secure by grace through faith in Christ. By His perfect life and atoning death, only He can make a race a dual sinner-sufferers into "new creations." Only He can guarantee that one's life can be "hidden with Christ in God" so that no one "can snatch you from [His] hand."
This security will not always be felt by the redeemed sinner, but it will never be separated from the redeemed sinner either. As a result, there is no longer a chaotic quest for security that latches onto a false hope that slips through fingers like sand, but simply a growth in security through the power of the Holy Spirit, the gracious tools of the ordinary means of grace (preaching/sacraments/prayer), and the God who "works in you to will and work according to His good pleasure."
30.5.13
A Counter-Cultural Way of Thinking (Based on brief for my CDR)
It was not that long ago that behaviorist psychology dominated the landscape, with man being viewed more or less as animal who is not much more than a product of his environment. Yet the years of intensive therapy for individuals, oriented around what environmental factors made them the way they are, proved largely unsuccessful. One key reason: If individuals are simply a product of their environment, then they largely lack the power to change their environment. They are rendered helpless.
In recent decades, cognitive psychology has largely taken over the mental health landscape. It basically reverses the behaviorist paradigm--we are not products are environment, we shape our environments with our choices and thought habits. This change in perspective is a welcome one, and while incomplete, provides a helpful platform for psychologists and religious leaders to help those in their care, for leaders to care for those under them, and for people to mentally self-medicate.
I would like to introduce to you one psychologist in particular--Martin Seligman (U. of Penn) and his book Learned Optimism. In his introduction, Seligman notes several undeniable trends in American culture. Perhaps the most dominant trend is the rise of a reinforced self-indulgence (my words). People are largely raised to think they are the center of the universe. They are coddled, their misdeeds are excused, and their future desires--no matter how unrealistic--are attainable (these all are, of course, gross generalizations). This has created a self-referential psychology (my terms). My self worth is measured by my perceived successes and failure as it they pertain to my goals. If the delicate balloon that is my self esteem is puncture, my entire world comes crashing down around me.
As Seligman notes, we no longer have the cultural points of validation (my words) or "spiritual furniture" to buffer are sense of self-worth. We only have ourselves. At the same time, "normal" depression (that which is not caused by chemical imbalances and which makes up the vast majority of cases) has skyrocketed. Studies have conclusively shown that modern generations have experience an exponentially greater level of depressive episodes than prior generations.
Seligman argues, quite persuasively, that virtually all cases of normal depression are really "learned helplessness." Those who are depressed have learned through prior circumstances that they are unable to control their environment, and thus do not have home or reasonable chance to affect their environment. Psychological studies have shown, for example, that if two groups of people hear an annoying noise, but only one group is able to turn off the noise, than when those two groups are then place in another scene that requires action to change the environment, the group that had learned helplessness in the first scene often could not and would not perform the basic functions needed.
In real terms, this means that it is likely that if a child learns helplessness at an early age (for example, grows up in an abusive household and is unable to change that negative reality), then he will learn helplessness and will consequently bring a pessimistic "explanatory style" with him into future events. This explanatory style is one's interpretation of life events. If I have learned helplessness and now have a trained pessimistic explanatory style, I will respond to a given negative circumstance by generalizing it ("this always happens"), catastrophizing it ("this is happening everywhere in my life right now"), and personalizing it ("this is who I am"). Thus, the child that was helpless to prevent abuse in his early years, when exposed to another negative circumstance, will employ this destructive mindset, setting himself up for significant depression.
Of course, not all pessimism leads to depression, just as not all chain-smokers will develop lung cancer--it just puts you at severe risk. Virtually all cases of normal depression require a pessimistic explanatory style in order to occur. Again, depression is by and large, simply learned helplessness, caused by one's negative interpretive grid. In addition, this pessimistic explanatory style has undeniable links not only to degraded pyschological health, but lack of professional ambition and success, and reduced medical resilience and lifespan. In other words, the child who has learned helplessness is set up for future failure, not because of the original circumstance(s) itself, but because of the thought pattern developed as a result. Now for the good news...
Unlike previous theories of depression, which made people into victims reliant upon years of probing therapy and countless meds, this modern realization puts power back into people's hands to change. They simply need to starts teaching themselves to interpret their events in a more optimistic (and still realistic) light. When the pessimist encounters a negative circumstance, he should conduct a self-assessment using an "ABC" formula. Identify the point of adversity (only the facts), the beliefs regard that adversity (generalizing, catastrophizing, personalizing), and the consequences of those beliefs (a few bad grades cause me to drop out of school). He must then dispute his beliefs (is this really my lifelong pattern, what I do in every cirumstance, and reflective of who I am?). Following this formula has not only made professional therapy much more successful, but gives people a chance to start working toward change on their own.
This is where Seligman largely leaves off, while I added two more points for my CDR beyond Seligman's formula for improvement and hope. It is one thing to change one's thought patterns, but this change does not get at the core cultural trends that (I believe) are not coincidental in relation to the rise of depression: the rise of a self-referential psychology and the demise of cultural points of reference and spiritual furniture to lean upon for one's identity. I suggested two further components for the change process: extra-personal identity and self-negating mercy.
First, if my self worth hangs upon my perceived successes and failures alone, and I have been taught that the world largely caters to my needs, then when that balloon bursts and reality comes crashing in, I will come crashing down. I think we see that trend in most recent college graduates. I need an extra-personal identity, one that extends beyond myself--one that relies upon that spiritual furniture. Thus, when my invincible plans are punctured and my esteem fracture, I do not fall apart. In a certain sense, these things make me untouchable.
Second, if my purpose in life is largely oriented toward myself, and I stumble in achieving my conceived purpose, then I have failed and my life lacks meaning. But, if I bless those who curse me--if I take someone's insult, and after stopping the spread of its venom in my own mind, praise the other person for what is praiseworthy about them, then I have proactively engaged in a purpose beyond myself. This self-negating mercy pulls me outside the confines of a depression-prone selfishness.
My CDR has asked me to share this brief with our commanding General at a later date. Please pray that my thoughts on this subject would continue to mature. I had a senior chaplain give me some great insights into many of these issues today, based on much of his Masters and Doctoral work. And please pray that this would not be an effort in merely engaging abstractions, but be use in further defining the role of a chaplain and finding ways to care for the individual soldier. I'll add more with regard to the biblical-theological component at a later point.
In recent decades, cognitive psychology has largely taken over the mental health landscape. It basically reverses the behaviorist paradigm--we are not products are environment, we shape our environments with our choices and thought habits. This change in perspective is a welcome one, and while incomplete, provides a helpful platform for psychologists and religious leaders to help those in their care, for leaders to care for those under them, and for people to mentally self-medicate.
I would like to introduce to you one psychologist in particular--Martin Seligman (U. of Penn) and his book Learned Optimism. In his introduction, Seligman notes several undeniable trends in American culture. Perhaps the most dominant trend is the rise of a reinforced self-indulgence (my words). People are largely raised to think they are the center of the universe. They are coddled, their misdeeds are excused, and their future desires--no matter how unrealistic--are attainable (these all are, of course, gross generalizations). This has created a self-referential psychology (my terms). My self worth is measured by my perceived successes and failure as it they pertain to my goals. If the delicate balloon that is my self esteem is puncture, my entire world comes crashing down around me.
As Seligman notes, we no longer have the cultural points of validation (my words) or "spiritual furniture" to buffer are sense of self-worth. We only have ourselves. At the same time, "normal" depression (that which is not caused by chemical imbalances and which makes up the vast majority of cases) has skyrocketed. Studies have conclusively shown that modern generations have experience an exponentially greater level of depressive episodes than prior generations.
Seligman argues, quite persuasively, that virtually all cases of normal depression are really "learned helplessness." Those who are depressed have learned through prior circumstances that they are unable to control their environment, and thus do not have home or reasonable chance to affect their environment. Psychological studies have shown, for example, that if two groups of people hear an annoying noise, but only one group is able to turn off the noise, than when those two groups are then place in another scene that requires action to change the environment, the group that had learned helplessness in the first scene often could not and would not perform the basic functions needed.
In real terms, this means that it is likely that if a child learns helplessness at an early age (for example, grows up in an abusive household and is unable to change that negative reality), then he will learn helplessness and will consequently bring a pessimistic "explanatory style" with him into future events. This explanatory style is one's interpretation of life events. If I have learned helplessness and now have a trained pessimistic explanatory style, I will respond to a given negative circumstance by generalizing it ("this always happens"), catastrophizing it ("this is happening everywhere in my life right now"), and personalizing it ("this is who I am"). Thus, the child that was helpless to prevent abuse in his early years, when exposed to another negative circumstance, will employ this destructive mindset, setting himself up for significant depression.
Of course, not all pessimism leads to depression, just as not all chain-smokers will develop lung cancer--it just puts you at severe risk. Virtually all cases of normal depression require a pessimistic explanatory style in order to occur. Again, depression is by and large, simply learned helplessness, caused by one's negative interpretive grid. In addition, this pessimistic explanatory style has undeniable links not only to degraded pyschological health, but lack of professional ambition and success, and reduced medical resilience and lifespan. In other words, the child who has learned helplessness is set up for future failure, not because of the original circumstance(s) itself, but because of the thought pattern developed as a result. Now for the good news...
Unlike previous theories of depression, which made people into victims reliant upon years of probing therapy and countless meds, this modern realization puts power back into people's hands to change. They simply need to starts teaching themselves to interpret their events in a more optimistic (and still realistic) light. When the pessimist encounters a negative circumstance, he should conduct a self-assessment using an "ABC" formula. Identify the point of adversity (only the facts), the beliefs regard that adversity (generalizing, catastrophizing, personalizing), and the consequences of those beliefs (a few bad grades cause me to drop out of school). He must then dispute his beliefs (is this really my lifelong pattern, what I do in every cirumstance, and reflective of who I am?). Following this formula has not only made professional therapy much more successful, but gives people a chance to start working toward change on their own.
This is where Seligman largely leaves off, while I added two more points for my CDR beyond Seligman's formula for improvement and hope. It is one thing to change one's thought patterns, but this change does not get at the core cultural trends that (I believe) are not coincidental in relation to the rise of depression: the rise of a self-referential psychology and the demise of cultural points of reference and spiritual furniture to lean upon for one's identity. I suggested two further components for the change process: extra-personal identity and self-negating mercy.
First, if my self worth hangs upon my perceived successes and failures alone, and I have been taught that the world largely caters to my needs, then when that balloon bursts and reality comes crashing in, I will come crashing down. I think we see that trend in most recent college graduates. I need an extra-personal identity, one that extends beyond myself--one that relies upon that spiritual furniture. Thus, when my invincible plans are punctured and my esteem fracture, I do not fall apart. In a certain sense, these things make me untouchable.
Second, if my purpose in life is largely oriented toward myself, and I stumble in achieving my conceived purpose, then I have failed and my life lacks meaning. But, if I bless those who curse me--if I take someone's insult, and after stopping the spread of its venom in my own mind, praise the other person for what is praiseworthy about them, then I have proactively engaged in a purpose beyond myself. This self-negating mercy pulls me outside the confines of a depression-prone selfishness.
My CDR has asked me to share this brief with our commanding General at a later date. Please pray that my thoughts on this subject would continue to mature. I had a senior chaplain give me some great insights into many of these issues today, based on much of his Masters and Doctoral work. And please pray that this would not be an effort in merely engaging abstractions, but be use in further defining the role of a chaplain and finding ways to care for the individual soldier. I'll add more with regard to the biblical-theological component at a later point.
27.5.13
It's About More Than The Bird
This helpful thought was proferred by my dear wife. Let me give the context.
Two days ago, a smiley-faced female employee of the post asked me if I would be willing to meet with a civilian. "Of course!" This is in part what distinguishes a job from a calling--I do not merely serve within the parameters of my defined role, but eagerly seek to serve in the same capacity for those beyond my assigned purview.
I sat down with this smiley-faced female, and immediately her face screwed up into pure despair. If I hadn't seen this quick sea-change so many times before, I'd be alarmed. I let her cry herself out a little bit, and began to ask gentle questions. The initial issue seemed to be a bird that she hit with her car the other day. She slammed the brakes, jumped out of the car, and held the bird while it breathed its last. Apparently, she loves animals of all shapes and sizes. Setting aside my cynicism, I worked to empathize with her, sharing her grief over a world in which life of man and beast alike is so quickly snuffed out. I expressed gratitude for her ability to show such sensitivity and grief toward such sources of pain.
But, as my wife says is often the case with distraught females (generally), it's about more than the bird.
It turns out that this dear woman was an Army wife whose husband divorced her and married another woman. Her teenage daughter has likewise left her for her ex-husband. She feels abandoned, unlovable, and will likely have to move in with her mother in AZ.
After giving her time to grieve, I offered this poor woman three points of encouragment/counsel:
1) I'm encouraged that her heart is as soft as it is. It shows a certain vitality that is lost on many people who withdraw and harden their heart to their pain. Yet, I counseled her to intentionally combat her dark thoughts. (We can tend to generalize our pain--"this is how it will always be," catastrophize our pain--"this is how everything is going," and personalize our pain--"this is who I am." All three of these are thought patterns of the pessimistic and depressed). All feelings are valid, but not all are correct or healthy. If we struggle with these bad patterns of thought, we should stop them mid-stream and argue with them: "What happened?" "Does this really always happen?" "Is this really how everything is going?" "Can this really be assigned to who I am?" Our goal is to own the bad circumstance, put it in its proper perspective, and allow the opportunity to redefine our lives.
(This, by the way, is the hot and healthier trend in modern psychology (cognitivist) that treats people first as thinkers, as opposed to the older, more animalist trend that treats people as products simply of their environment and conditioned by rewards/penalties for their behaviors (behaviorist).)
2) I counseled her to work on changing her self-perception/identity. It is one thing to say "I am not this; it is another to say, instead I am this." Ultimately, with a world and human nature thoroughly and significantly marred by sin and brokenness, we struggle to find a healthy self-identity. You can identify yourself solely with your sin and deny the innate dignity and abilities given you by God. Or you can identify solely with that dignity and those abilities and deny the clear affects of mankind's fall and consequent state of depravity. Or you can identify yourself as one created with dignity, yet inescapably marred by sin, who needs the wholeness that comes only with reconcilation to the God who created you. Ultimately, you need to be identified with Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who lived the perfect life in your place, died the just penalty for your sin, and can now be your identity by faith (2 Cor. 5:17).
3) I encouraged her to either attend chapel here on post or a church in her area. We are not a "tabula rasa" (Latin for "blank slate," made famous by John Locke) and cannot simply create our own identity out of scratch. We have an enemy, Satan, who is much more powerful than our own hearts or will. He accuses and condemns us in our sin every day and much of our energy goes into suppressing his voice, while often trying to deny our sin as well. Yet we know that part of what he says is truth. We are indeed guilty sinners, deserving of death. But his is a half-truth--we are not hopeless and resigned to God's just judgment. So we attend church every Sunday (twice if possible!) to directly reminded by God through His Word (through a weak messenger) that "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation." "He who knew no sin became sin, so we might be the righteousness of God." "Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." "No one can snatch you from My hand." Unlike people we love, God will "never leave us nor forsake us."
Regardless of whether she heeds any of these thoughts (of which I editorialized in this post), she has gratefully agreed to meet with me as she and I both have time to help process through a number of these issues. Praise the Lord!
FYI, both morning and evening chapels went well yesterday, though the unit created irreconcilable conflicts for many of our soldiers so that they were unable to attend (we'll fix that!). Folks really appreciate the Christ-centered preaching and the clear liturgical order that allows us to first adore God, repent before His Law, express gratitude for His Gospel, and hear His Word preached.
God bless you, my friends, and may Christ lead you in paths of righteousness of His name's sake.
Two days ago, a smiley-faced female employee of the post asked me if I would be willing to meet with a civilian. "Of course!" This is in part what distinguishes a job from a calling--I do not merely serve within the parameters of my defined role, but eagerly seek to serve in the same capacity for those beyond my assigned purview.
I sat down with this smiley-faced female, and immediately her face screwed up into pure despair. If I hadn't seen this quick sea-change so many times before, I'd be alarmed. I let her cry herself out a little bit, and began to ask gentle questions. The initial issue seemed to be a bird that she hit with her car the other day. She slammed the brakes, jumped out of the car, and held the bird while it breathed its last. Apparently, she loves animals of all shapes and sizes. Setting aside my cynicism, I worked to empathize with her, sharing her grief over a world in which life of man and beast alike is so quickly snuffed out. I expressed gratitude for her ability to show such sensitivity and grief toward such sources of pain.
But, as my wife says is often the case with distraught females (generally), it's about more than the bird.
It turns out that this dear woman was an Army wife whose husband divorced her and married another woman. Her teenage daughter has likewise left her for her ex-husband. She feels abandoned, unlovable, and will likely have to move in with her mother in AZ.
After giving her time to grieve, I offered this poor woman three points of encouragment/counsel:
1) I'm encouraged that her heart is as soft as it is. It shows a certain vitality that is lost on many people who withdraw and harden their heart to their pain. Yet, I counseled her to intentionally combat her dark thoughts. (We can tend to generalize our pain--"this is how it will always be," catastrophize our pain--"this is how everything is going," and personalize our pain--"this is who I am." All three of these are thought patterns of the pessimistic and depressed). All feelings are valid, but not all are correct or healthy. If we struggle with these bad patterns of thought, we should stop them mid-stream and argue with them: "What happened?" "Does this really always happen?" "Is this really how everything is going?" "Can this really be assigned to who I am?" Our goal is to own the bad circumstance, put it in its proper perspective, and allow the opportunity to redefine our lives.
(This, by the way, is the hot and healthier trend in modern psychology (cognitivist) that treats people first as thinkers, as opposed to the older, more animalist trend that treats people as products simply of their environment and conditioned by rewards/penalties for their behaviors (behaviorist).)
2) I counseled her to work on changing her self-perception/identity. It is one thing to say "I am not this; it is another to say, instead I am this." Ultimately, with a world and human nature thoroughly and significantly marred by sin and brokenness, we struggle to find a healthy self-identity. You can identify yourself solely with your sin and deny the innate dignity and abilities given you by God. Or you can identify solely with that dignity and those abilities and deny the clear affects of mankind's fall and consequent state of depravity. Or you can identify yourself as one created with dignity, yet inescapably marred by sin, who needs the wholeness that comes only with reconcilation to the God who created you. Ultimately, you need to be identified with Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who lived the perfect life in your place, died the just penalty for your sin, and can now be your identity by faith (2 Cor. 5:17).
3) I encouraged her to either attend chapel here on post or a church in her area. We are not a "tabula rasa" (Latin for "blank slate," made famous by John Locke) and cannot simply create our own identity out of scratch. We have an enemy, Satan, who is much more powerful than our own hearts or will. He accuses and condemns us in our sin every day and much of our energy goes into suppressing his voice, while often trying to deny our sin as well. Yet we know that part of what he says is truth. We are indeed guilty sinners, deserving of death. But his is a half-truth--we are not hopeless and resigned to God's just judgment. So we attend church every Sunday (twice if possible!) to directly reminded by God through His Word (through a weak messenger) that "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation." "He who knew no sin became sin, so we might be the righteousness of God." "Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." "No one can snatch you from My hand." Unlike people we love, God will "never leave us nor forsake us."
Regardless of whether she heeds any of these thoughts (of which I editorialized in this post), she has gratefully agreed to meet with me as she and I both have time to help process through a number of these issues. Praise the Lord!
FYI, both morning and evening chapels went well yesterday, though the unit created irreconcilable conflicts for many of our soldiers so that they were unable to attend (we'll fix that!). Folks really appreciate the Christ-centered preaching and the clear liturgical order that allows us to first adore God, repent before His Law, express gratitude for His Gospel, and hear His Word preached.
God bless you, my friends, and may Christ lead you in paths of righteousness of His name's sake.
26.5.13
A Rock and A Hard Place
An officer used this common phrase with me yesterday to describe a predicament he was in. It is apropos as an analogy for much of the work of a chaplain. I endeavor to help mark ethical distinctions in objective hues of black and white when possible, but often, I must wade through a sea of subjective gray.
One case in point: A soldier who may or not be mission-capable at this point. The CDR (commander) is dubious and relies upon my insights, knowing that including a non-capable soldier could endanger this soldier as well as others. The soldier confides in me with regard to his hopes and fears. It is humiliating to be put off of a deployment roster. The CDR requires my objective analysis; the soldier, my subjective empathy and care. Now put me in a situation where I am meeting to face-to-face with both of these parties, as well as several other high ranking officers. These types of dilemmas generally find a healthy resolution, but not without fear, prayer, and dependence upon the Lord for wisdom.
May I be humbled through these situations and remember that true light comes through God's Word alone. When situations fall far from the direct pale of God's broad principles, I must rely upon the glow of Spirit-infused wisdom that sets upon the heart and mind of the sinner saved by grace through faith in Christ.
One case in point: A soldier who may or not be mission-capable at this point. The CDR (commander) is dubious and relies upon my insights, knowing that including a non-capable soldier could endanger this soldier as well as others. The soldier confides in me with regard to his hopes and fears. It is humiliating to be put off of a deployment roster. The CDR requires my objective analysis; the soldier, my subjective empathy and care. Now put me in a situation where I am meeting to face-to-face with both of these parties, as well as several other high ranking officers. These types of dilemmas generally find a healthy resolution, but not without fear, prayer, and dependence upon the Lord for wisdom.
May I be humbled through these situations and remember that true light comes through God's Word alone. When situations fall far from the direct pale of God's broad principles, I must rely upon the glow of Spirit-infused wisdom that sets upon the heart and mind of the sinner saved by grace through faith in Christ.
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