An eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth--a great principle for civil government, which is unable to love and has the responsibility to administer justice (Rom. 13).
For relationships that do revolve around love however, primarily marriage and those relationships heading toward marriage, justice must give way in every part to mercy.
Increasingly, especially amongst our young soldiers, I notice the same self-centered view of relationships that we see in society at large: "I want what's coming to me. And they better treat me right or they'll get what's coming to them."
Many believe that if their spouse doesn't respect them, they need not respect their spouse. If their spouse wrongs them, they have permission to wrong them in return.
And forget telling people to keep no record of wrongs as a moral and religious ideal. Instead, they are religious in their meticulous tracking of perceived wrongs, though they feel wronged when their spouse or significant other does the same.
I say all this as I witness the beginnings of what will be the disintegration of many relationships. The soldiers have come home from war and the chickens have come home to roost.
I was talking with one soldier that I have known for years this morning about his quickly evaporating engagement. He has good reason to suspect that his fiancee is planning to break-up with him and has likely been cheating on him with his friend while he's been deployed.
BUT, in the off chance that none of this has or will occur, I counseled this soldier to forgive all perceived slights that occurred over the course of this deployment. This time is hell for spouses and significant others, who feel helpless, lonely, insecure, and vulnerable. Many lack the solid support structure afforded by family and church. Many make foolish decisions--they get drunk often, waste money, and spend an inappropriate amount of time with friends of the opposite sex.
Redeployment is not the time to bring the hammer down, but to confess that war has been hell on both parties, forgive all wrongs (unless adultery has been committed, in which case the relationship must either be terminated or patiently renovated from the ground up), and start anew--resolving to establish a more sound foundation for future deployments.
But mercy must form the fundamental relational principle. Love is unconditional and mercy demonstrates this fact. Nothing can separate a wife from her husband's love. He will bear her indiscretions (and she, his) and love her even more. He will sacrifice for her (and she submit to him), even when unrequited.
In this way, we demonstrate the much greater love of Christ, who while we were still sinners, died for us (Rom. 5:8). The only record of wrongs that He kept were those that He bore in His body (1 Pet. 3) and subsequently nailed to the cross (Col. 2). If He treated mankind as mankind treated Him, He would be coming on the clouds of judgment for all of us.
And if we are truly moved by such profound love, demonstrated in such unbelievable mercy, then we will strive to love our loved ones with an everlasting love, fueled by the Spirit of the Lord. Our desire for justice will be turned in on ourselves in brutal self-examination, considering our own unworthiness of our spouse's love and mercy, and our hearts and mouths will overflow with words of Gospel-centered tenderness that will build up our spouse and make them shine like stars in a darkened world.
We enter an age in which the "survival of the fittest" principle that most children learned in broken homes is being applied to relationships in their various manifestations. Few greater testimonies exist to the power of the Gospel than unconditional, sacrificial love grounded in gratitude for the life, death, and reign of Christ.
24.1.14
US Senate Roundup
For all of you political junkies out there, you know that the Senate will be the primary electoral battleground next year.
As a quick note, there is virtually no chance of a change of power in the House of Representatives. The most likely scenario, barring any dramatic change in the country, is that one of the parties will pick up a couple of seats, which will do nothing to affect the balance of power.
Meanwhile, the majority of governor mansions will still belong to the GOP, which currently holds 29 of them and will likely lose a net of one or two (GOP will pick up AR, Dems will likely pick up PA and ME and possibly FL or MI.
In the Senate, only two GOP seats are potentially threatened--both in red states with strong Democratic contenders (KY and GA). But both are long-shot takeovers.
Meanwhile, the GOP, which needs six seats to re-take the Senate, are poised to grab at least four. They have a popular former governor running in the deep red state of North Dakota, and a popular representative running in the deep red state of West Virginia. They are also running a very strong contender (Harvard-trained Iraq veteran turned member of House of Representatives) in Arkansas against the incumbent, and a popular representative vying for the open seat in semi-red Montana
They also have a very strong shot at takeovers in deep red Louisiana and deep red Alaska against formerly popular incumbents. They are also probably even odds against the incumbent in North Carolina. If they got two of these latter three seats, they would re-take the Senate.
At the same time, due to the president's unpopularity, a number of other seats are becoming more vulnerable. A mediocre GOP candidate is running even for the open seat in Michigan, a list of GOP no-names are in contention for the open seat in Iowa. Virginia is now in play with a strong GOP contender having just announced his nomination, but the incumbent is popular and the GOP definitely starts in underdog status. New Hampshire will also immediately come into play if former MA Senator, Scott Brown, decides to run.
If the president's numbers stabilize a bit, control of the Senate will be a very close call and will likely be determined by the GOP's ability to withstand their normal tendency for self-sabotage. If the president's numbers remain where they are, however, there is a decent chance that a 2010-like wave could emerge, taking down 9-10 Democratic seats. The GOP could really use such a wave as--looking forward--they will have a half dozen vulnerable seats to defend in 2016 as a result of the 2010 wave that elected Republicans in battleground and even deep blue states.
The fun is only just beginning!
As a quick note, there is virtually no chance of a change of power in the House of Representatives. The most likely scenario, barring any dramatic change in the country, is that one of the parties will pick up a couple of seats, which will do nothing to affect the balance of power.
Meanwhile, the majority of governor mansions will still belong to the GOP, which currently holds 29 of them and will likely lose a net of one or two (GOP will pick up AR, Dems will likely pick up PA and ME and possibly FL or MI.
In the Senate, only two GOP seats are potentially threatened--both in red states with strong Democratic contenders (KY and GA). But both are long-shot takeovers.
Meanwhile, the GOP, which needs six seats to re-take the Senate, are poised to grab at least four. They have a popular former governor running in the deep red state of North Dakota, and a popular representative running in the deep red state of West Virginia. They are also running a very strong contender (Harvard-trained Iraq veteran turned member of House of Representatives) in Arkansas against the incumbent, and a popular representative vying for the open seat in semi-red Montana
They also have a very strong shot at takeovers in deep red Louisiana and deep red Alaska against formerly popular incumbents. They are also probably even odds against the incumbent in North Carolina. If they got two of these latter three seats, they would re-take the Senate.
At the same time, due to the president's unpopularity, a number of other seats are becoming more vulnerable. A mediocre GOP candidate is running even for the open seat in Michigan, a list of GOP no-names are in contention for the open seat in Iowa. Virginia is now in play with a strong GOP contender having just announced his nomination, but the incumbent is popular and the GOP definitely starts in underdog status. New Hampshire will also immediately come into play if former MA Senator, Scott Brown, decides to run.
If the president's numbers stabilize a bit, control of the Senate will be a very close call and will likely be determined by the GOP's ability to withstand their normal tendency for self-sabotage. If the president's numbers remain where they are, however, there is a decent chance that a 2010-like wave could emerge, taking down 9-10 Democratic seats. The GOP could really use such a wave as--looking forward--they will have a half dozen vulnerable seats to defend in 2016 as a result of the 2010 wave that elected Republicans in battleground and even deep blue states.
The fun is only just beginning!
Random Pics You May Have Missed
Flags of the allied coalition at Camp Eggers, from the top of the stairway of my barracks.
My resource table in my office at Camp Eggers.
Me and my favorite dog, celebrating the season!
Going out on a mission!
Flags and memorial at Camp Phoenix.
The chapel at Camp Phoenix, where I preached for four months.
Rare Snowfall in Texas
...which has subsequently caused delays in my travel home. They don't have salt for the roads or tarmac, so we must rely upon the sun to extend its arms and embrace the frozen earth!
Even so, the sun is setting on this latest adventure!
I would like to say that everything is being tied into a neat little bow, but the reality is, for many soldiers, the real trials are just beginning. I have heard a number of spats over the phone the past couple of days, and with the immaturity of most young adults conspiring with a conspicuous lack of guidance and wisdom from their elders, I am not confident in the resolution of these conflicts.
So many fight for hearth and home, but how many will have homes to come back to?
23.1.14
So Much Cleaning!
A soldier told me this morning that his wife is stressed out because she has so much cleaning to do before he returns home.
He was incredulous. Who cares about cleaning? Not him. And how much cleaning really needs to be done?
I chuckled, as most every soldier and wife (including me and the wifey) are experiencing the same back-and-forth.
What soldiers need to realize (and what I told this soldier this morning) is that this impulse to clean is reflective of a larger anxiety about the coming chaos of reintegration and a desire to control something in the meantime.
Also, wives are often (or feel) judged based on the appearance of their home. Thus, they want their husbands to get a peek at what they have accomplished in the previous year (which can sometimes also feel mundane compared to what their husbands often endure).
Finally, wives, in their emotional intuitiveness can sense the upcoming struggles much better than their husbands, who often only see the sweet relief of being home. Thus, a clean home seems to provide a more sure footing, and one less thing to contend with, once the expected chaos begins.
So it's not crazy. This is another example of logical men lacking the emotional intelligence that grasps the enormity of the situation and responds accordingly. Thank God for our wives!
He was incredulous. Who cares about cleaning? Not him. And how much cleaning really needs to be done?
I chuckled, as most every soldier and wife (including me and the wifey) are experiencing the same back-and-forth.
What soldiers need to realize (and what I told this soldier this morning) is that this impulse to clean is reflective of a larger anxiety about the coming chaos of reintegration and a desire to control something in the meantime.
Also, wives are often (or feel) judged based on the appearance of their home. Thus, they want their husbands to get a peek at what they have accomplished in the previous year (which can sometimes also feel mundane compared to what their husbands often endure).
Finally, wives, in their emotional intuitiveness can sense the upcoming struggles much better than their husbands, who often only see the sweet relief of being home. Thus, a clean home seems to provide a more sure footing, and one less thing to contend with, once the expected chaos begins.
So it's not crazy. This is another example of logical men lacking the emotional intelligence that grasps the enormity of the situation and responds accordingly. Thank God for our wives!
Reintegration: Running Toward the Firefight
A number of my soldiers are frustrated by Army-imposed delays on their ability to go home. For some, additional medical appointments are needed. For others who don't have jobs waiting on the other side, there is mandatory job training.
As one soldier told me, "I just want to get home to my daughter."
But those who go home to a wife and/or children must be careful in their haste. It doesn't matter how swimmingly a marriage fares on deployment, there will be inevitable difficulties coming home.
As a general rule, both soldier and wife have learned a lifestyle of independence that must be worked back into the fabric of marriage--much like when a couple first marries. I am used to receiving guidance and forming my own plans, with others providing my meals and doing my laundry. The wife is used to controlling all matters of the household and as a matter of survival, not second-guessing herself.
Obviously, the hardest path to negotiate will be in parenting out little boy. Certainly, a part of the wifey simply wants to hand the little one off to me and be done with parenting for a while. At the same time, she enjoys a precious singular bond with him that will now be shared with daddy as well. That could prove difficult. Will she filled with joy every time she sees me playing with him apart from her? I am not so sure. Will I always enjoy seeing the tricks and skills my wife utilizes in caring for him when I will seem so horribly inept when I return? Probably not.
Independence breeds competition, which is likely a participating factor in the dissolution of many marriages in the military and society-at-large. The wife and I will have to learn to become one in our marriage once more and thus complement one another. Individually, we can each survive as parents. Together, we thrive. And does my wife deserves this type of team-parenting after a year of surviving on her own (and doing a wonderful job)!
But this inevitable friction creeps into more discreet areas of the marriage as well, aside from parenting. Our financial management has always been a well-oiled machine, by God's grace. I love to budget, while the wifey hates it. Thus, I am the one constantly crunching and projecting numbers--helping us look at big picture matters like saving, paying off debt, and retirement.
The wifey also likes clear rules in our financial management (she loves rules!) to help guide her spending habits. So I budget a specific amount in our budget for groceries and discretionary and that provides her a cap for the month.
When I deployed, I handed off the whole budget to her. Knowing she didn't like the inner workings of it like I did, I simply offered her broad parameters--make sure to stay above a certain amount in checking and make sure that certain things were paid and accounted for each month. If checking went over a certain amount, she could put it into savings.
She did a fantastic job of holding to these parameters. In the past couple of weeks, I started tracking the budget again and getting very detailed in crunching numbers. This can seem off-putting to the wifey, who in her own distinct way has managed the budget.
Neither of us had to answer to anyone else on a number of issues this past year--now we answer to each other. Over and over again, we'll run into seemingly mundane issues that cause brief flare-ups because we are used to handling matters individually.
Last night, we compared this ordeal to that daily "hour of power" where the husband comes home from work and immediately wants a break, while the wife also wants a break from the baby. This is the hour where most couples experience their worst fighting. Both need help from the other, and both feel misunderstood by the other. My advice to husbands has always been to bite the bullet, suck it up, and serve their wives for that first hour.
In the same way, the wifey and I will both need help from each other in the coming weeks. I will likely be overcoming a great sleep deficit, adjusting to civilian life again, and learning how to parents. She will be overcoming a great sleep deficit and in need of an active helper in parenting. So what will give?
I will try to jump into action right away in limited ways to assist my wife; she will try to give me plenty of time to rest and adjust. Both of us are looking to serve the other, which provides a good start to this process. The process will be messy, but this mutual heart of service will be the key in helping us meld back into one entity and love and serve together once more.
Deployment doesn't truly end when a soldier returns--the fight for the homeland simply becomes a fight for home and hearth once more. But the same grace upon which we have stood during this deployment will serve us just as well in love as in war. We fight together in the Lord.
As one soldier told me, "I just want to get home to my daughter."
But those who go home to a wife and/or children must be careful in their haste. It doesn't matter how swimmingly a marriage fares on deployment, there will be inevitable difficulties coming home.
As a general rule, both soldier and wife have learned a lifestyle of independence that must be worked back into the fabric of marriage--much like when a couple first marries. I am used to receiving guidance and forming my own plans, with others providing my meals and doing my laundry. The wife is used to controlling all matters of the household and as a matter of survival, not second-guessing herself.
Obviously, the hardest path to negotiate will be in parenting out little boy. Certainly, a part of the wifey simply wants to hand the little one off to me and be done with parenting for a while. At the same time, she enjoys a precious singular bond with him that will now be shared with daddy as well. That could prove difficult. Will she filled with joy every time she sees me playing with him apart from her? I am not so sure. Will I always enjoy seeing the tricks and skills my wife utilizes in caring for him when I will seem so horribly inept when I return? Probably not.
Independence breeds competition, which is likely a participating factor in the dissolution of many marriages in the military and society-at-large. The wife and I will have to learn to become one in our marriage once more and thus complement one another. Individually, we can each survive as parents. Together, we thrive. And does my wife deserves this type of team-parenting after a year of surviving on her own (and doing a wonderful job)!
But this inevitable friction creeps into more discreet areas of the marriage as well, aside from parenting. Our financial management has always been a well-oiled machine, by God's grace. I love to budget, while the wifey hates it. Thus, I am the one constantly crunching and projecting numbers--helping us look at big picture matters like saving, paying off debt, and retirement.
The wifey also likes clear rules in our financial management (she loves rules!) to help guide her spending habits. So I budget a specific amount in our budget for groceries and discretionary and that provides her a cap for the month.
When I deployed, I handed off the whole budget to her. Knowing she didn't like the inner workings of it like I did, I simply offered her broad parameters--make sure to stay above a certain amount in checking and make sure that certain things were paid and accounted for each month. If checking went over a certain amount, she could put it into savings.
She did a fantastic job of holding to these parameters. In the past couple of weeks, I started tracking the budget again and getting very detailed in crunching numbers. This can seem off-putting to the wifey, who in her own distinct way has managed the budget.
Neither of us had to answer to anyone else on a number of issues this past year--now we answer to each other. Over and over again, we'll run into seemingly mundane issues that cause brief flare-ups because we are used to handling matters individually.
Last night, we compared this ordeal to that daily "hour of power" where the husband comes home from work and immediately wants a break, while the wife also wants a break from the baby. This is the hour where most couples experience their worst fighting. Both need help from the other, and both feel misunderstood by the other. My advice to husbands has always been to bite the bullet, suck it up, and serve their wives for that first hour.
In the same way, the wifey and I will both need help from each other in the coming weeks. I will likely be overcoming a great sleep deficit, adjusting to civilian life again, and learning how to parents. She will be overcoming a great sleep deficit and in need of an active helper in parenting. So what will give?
I will try to jump into action right away in limited ways to assist my wife; she will try to give me plenty of time to rest and adjust. Both of us are looking to serve the other, which provides a good start to this process. The process will be messy, but this mutual heart of service will be the key in helping us meld back into one entity and love and serve together once more.
Deployment doesn't truly end when a soldier returns--the fight for the homeland simply becomes a fight for home and hearth once more. But the same grace upon which we have stood during this deployment will serve us just as well in love as in war. We fight together in the Lord.
You Can't Spell Stephen Without S-E-T-H
Detained at Ft. Hood for outprocessing, I was unable to make it back for Seth's 9 month birthday, but I can still enjoy it from afar!
21.1.14
A Veteran
We turned in a bunch of equipment today and endured hours of briefs.
The focus of these briefs was upon the benefits to which veterans entitled. Partway through one of these briefs, LT Archie turned to me and said "I can't believe I'm a veteran. I'm too young!"
I have the same feeling. When I think of veterans, I think of aged WWII vets, Vietnam vets in leather jackets, and Iraq/Afghanistan vets who are missing limbs. I don't think of myself.
But, after doing the obligatory pile of paperwork, I can go to my local VA center and get medical care by taking advantage of my status as a veteran. That's crazy!
I am honored to be regarded as a veteran, though I think of myself as less of one who served than as a servant of our servants. May their sacrifices be lifted high!
While the worst seems over, remember what a foreign situation I will be walking into when I arrive home. Many thoughts and emotions have been carefully managed and suppressed by me and my long-suffering wife in order to endure this ordeal. When I get home, a new battle begins--one to take every thought captive for Christ, and that will be a substantial battle.
Thank God that ultimate victory is guaranteed in Christ and the labor we do here and now is not to determine the outcome, but to play our part in seeing through what has already been ordained. In that larger picture, there is joy, even in the more difficult of journeys.
The focus of these briefs was upon the benefits to which veterans entitled. Partway through one of these briefs, LT Archie turned to me and said "I can't believe I'm a veteran. I'm too young!"
I have the same feeling. When I think of veterans, I think of aged WWII vets, Vietnam vets in leather jackets, and Iraq/Afghanistan vets who are missing limbs. I don't think of myself.
But, after doing the obligatory pile of paperwork, I can go to my local VA center and get medical care by taking advantage of my status as a veteran. That's crazy!
I am honored to be regarded as a veteran, though I think of myself as less of one who served than as a servant of our servants. May their sacrifices be lifted high!
While the worst seems over, remember what a foreign situation I will be walking into when I arrive home. Many thoughts and emotions have been carefully managed and suppressed by me and my long-suffering wife in order to endure this ordeal. When I get home, a new battle begins--one to take every thought captive for Christ, and that will be a substantial battle.
Thank God that ultimate victory is guaranteed in Christ and the labor we do here and now is not to determine the outcome, but to play our part in seeing through what has already been ordained. In that larger picture, there is joy, even in the more difficult of journeys.
20.1.14
A Contented Sadness
I reconnected last night with Julie, one of the cashiers at the DFAC (dining facility) here, who was the subject of my post "It's About More Than The Bird" from over half a year ago. That post, for some reason, remains the most popular of all I have written. It was a happy reunion.
The weather down here is beautiful. A muted sunshine illumines the whole of the modest landscape, and a slight breeze makes it continual course around each of the barracks and one-storey office buildings. It would be perfect running weather, if I had brought my PT gear (but I packed light and mailed the rest home).
I find that when I walk alone amidst the sunlight and breezes, I get lost in thought about a million different things. I simultaneously feel joyful and melancholy.
I don't know what it is that provokes these thoughts and feelings. I often moved upon a gale force wind while deployed, and now find my feet back on the ground.
There is much, so very much, to process. IEDs continue to be set off by unexpecting soldiers on the other side of the world. A small, female Air Force Captain walks the land somewhere west of here, thinking lonely thoughts of her Heaven-housed husband, taken by terrorists and the sovereign appointment of God less than a month ago.
I am not the man I once was, baptized first in the life and death of Jesus Christ, and now by the life of war and the death of soldiers.
I lift my eyes up to the mountains--where does my help come from? My help comes from You, maker of Heaven and Earth. (Psalm 121)
The weather down here is beautiful. A muted sunshine illumines the whole of the modest landscape, and a slight breeze makes it continual course around each of the barracks and one-storey office buildings. It would be perfect running weather, if I had brought my PT gear (but I packed light and mailed the rest home).
I find that when I walk alone amidst the sunlight and breezes, I get lost in thought about a million different things. I simultaneously feel joyful and melancholy.
I don't know what it is that provokes these thoughts and feelings. I often moved upon a gale force wind while deployed, and now find my feet back on the ground.
There is much, so very much, to process. IEDs continue to be set off by unexpecting soldiers on the other side of the world. A small, female Air Force Captain walks the land somewhere west of here, thinking lonely thoughts of her Heaven-housed husband, taken by terrorists and the sovereign appointment of God less than a month ago.
I am not the man I once was, baptized first in the life and death of Jesus Christ, and now by the life of war and the death of soldiers.
I lift my eyes up to the mountains--where does my help come from? My help comes from You, maker of Heaven and Earth. (Psalm 121)
Top Five Deployment Highlights (#3, #2, and #1)
After two days of being bombarded by briefings, we have the day off today. Of course, banished to the wastelands of North Fort Hood, there is not very much to do, aside from going to the MWR and either getting online or watching TV. As I often said when we came through here at the very beginning, "Thank God I have my Nook!"
3) Radical Running
When I first got to Camp Eggers, I researched the running culture at the post. When I learned who the "Run Master" for these events was, I got in contact with her and volunteered to help. The shadow half marathon program in particular was a dramatic success. Several dozen of my soldiers at the post, most of whom had never run a half marathon, got involved, set new milestones, and lost weight by the week. The day I formally took over the program, I was told that I would be moving to Camp Phoenix. I handed off my responsibilities to one of my soldiers who had thrived in the program.
I took the program with me, in miniature, to Camp Phoenix. I soon had an array of soldiers, mostly Canadian, running these races each week. I also found out who the local Run Master was and eventually took his responsibilities from him when he departed. Alongside the half marathons, I often coordinated and oversaw a weekly 5k. Eventually, in an effort to spice things up and get rid of old swag from prior races, I developed the "Camp Phoenix Rise From the Ashes Run," which offered awards for every 5 laps run, as well as requiring either push-ups, sit-ups, or pull-ups between each lap. If a runner maxed the event, they would have run 10 miles, done 160 push-ups, 120 sit-ups, and 32 pull-ups, plus come away with an array of prizes.
Of course, my highlight as Run Master came with our shadow Ragnar Relay, in which close to 60 runners formed five teams and ran a 200 mile relay along the same one mile track through mud and chill for the better part of 30 hours. I was joined by half a dozen others from my own unit, and we probably included about two dozen Canadians, several of whom graciously served as my team captains. This race garnered press in several publications throughout the US, and earned us a free team in the DC-area for the coming September. More important, my brother Canadian chaplain thanked me for reaching out to many of his soldiers and caring for them. He said it meant a lot to them all.
2) Fast Friendships
A number of my friendships prior to this deployment were strengthened. My roommate, CPT Zach Wang, and I became good friends. He had an incredibly blunt and brutal demeanor, which I often worked to soften. If he told someone he didn't like them, I would be right beside him, saying that he didn't mean that--he just didn't know them well enough. People were often amused by our friendship.
My best friend in the unit over the years was my politi-buddy, LT Keith Parchen. He was a political science major at UVA (a man after my own heart!) and was always ready to gently engage political and theological matters. Together with our activist friend and another soldier (both of whom I will not name because they are still over there), we enjoyed many an invigorating meal-time conversation. I also worked to connect Parch with the theology of his childhood Lutheranism, and believe that he grew in his Reformed convictions quite a bit during the deployment.
At just the right time, God provided me friendships I desperately needed at both Camp Eggers and Camp Phoenix. One was Megan (whose last name I won't include since she'll be returning), who turned out to be my lone Reformed buddy at Camp Eggers. She had been mentored by a prior PCA chaplain, and with a servant's heart, played the piano in each week's traditional service and helped lead the singing in each week's contemporary service. She combined her servant's heart with a keen sense of discernment with regard to what constituted faithful preaching of the Gospel and what did not. She would also email me Bible verses and tell me how she was praying for me each week, just before I preached on Sundays. May every local Church body have one of her!
Isolation began to set in when Megan left, and followed me as I moved over to a new environment at Camp Phoenix. About a week in, I noticed a Tabletalk magazine on the desk of one of our attached Air Force soldiers. Thus began my friendship with a young, hungry Reformed brother. By God's grace, I was able to meet with him weekly to go through Paul David Tripp's Dangerous Calling, and talk matters of ministry and theology. Over that time, LT Steve Stanton decided, in consulation with his wife, to pursue a Masters of Divnity at Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte. But we not only had a mentor-mentee relationship, but spoke and shared as brothers.
Like Megan, Zach, and Parch, he will be a friend for years to come. I didn't spend any time with another of my young officer friends, LT Michael Archie, during the deployment as he was down in the more hostile southern regions of the country. We have redeployed together and renewed our friendship, however, and eagerly talk about the possibility of doing Jump School together.
I also have an array of about two dozen others from the unit, some still deployed and some redeployed, who I count as friends (many with bonds that stretch over several years now). These friendships were used as vehicles for His ministry through me to my soldiers, and also will provide foundations for continued friendship for years to come.
1) God's Grace
In God's providence, I was enabled to become the lead "traditional" chaplain minister at both Camp Eggers and Camp Phoenix. At Camp Eggers, the Lutheran (Missouri Synod) chaplain I replaced was responsible for the traditional services and I took his place. I led the flock through a chapter of Philippians over the course of a month before I had to move to Camp Phoenix.
Once I moved to Camp Phoenix, I got together with the lead chaplain, who led the traditional service there. He was also responsible for other services in the Kabul area each Sunday. I volunteered to take over the traditional services and free him up for his other responsibilities. He graciously agreed and I took over right away! Over my four months at Camp Phoenix, I preached through a series on the "Gospel According to the Old Testament," as well as several Christmas-related sermons.
While the traditional services never reach the attendance numbers of the contemporary or Gospel services, they are a staple of every post and always in high demand by the more liturgical soldiers. Of greater relevance to the matter at hand, however, is that I had the opportunity to regularly preach the Gospel to dozens of soldiers each week. Some of these are unbelievers who come to connect with something historic or with the traditions of their upbringing. Others are part of Mainline churches and come to check the box. They all heard the Gospel clearly preached week after week.
In addition, I was given opportunity to preach at other services. I preached at my first contemporary service the night before I left Camp Eggers, and it had a bit of a ripple effect. The senior chaplain who usually led the service emailed me after I moved to tell me that he was feeling self-conscious (with a bit of humor) because of all the people who told him how much they appreciated the service.
This was actually a bit of a pattern--there was a much more vocal and notable response to my preaching of God's Word in the contemporary and Gospel services than in the traditional. I preached three contemporary and two Gospel services while at Camp Phoenix. There could be many explanations for this fact, and there is no doubt that I am a more natural fit in such services. But that also reaffirms my commitment to the OPC. I would rather be known for being more monotone, boring, and faithful (like Jonathan Edwards, though I'm not fit to tie his sandals) than being more dynamic, emotional and succeptible to accusations of manipulation (like George Whitfield, who Benjamin Franklin loved, though more for the show than for the subtance).
Of course, there was my small beloved Bible Studies as well. The "No BS BS" at both Camp Eggers and Camp Phoenix were both incubators of subtle but substantial growth in grace. Perhaps the greatest testament to God's grace in both of those studies is that they are being continued to this day in each post.
And that fact emphasizes a particular message I continually pressed while at both posts from Acts 7:54-8:3. Though Stephen was slain and the early Church savagely persecuted, the seeds of Gospel growth were being thrown to the winds and cast upon the nations, and likewise, the seeds of the Gospel were being planted in the heart of that day's antichrist, Saul of Tarsus, through the witness and final prayers of Stephen. In other words, the darkest days by any human measurement are often the brightest in the redemptive purposes of God. The gates of Hell shall never prevail. Praise be to God.
3) Radical Running
When I first got to Camp Eggers, I researched the running culture at the post. When I learned who the "Run Master" for these events was, I got in contact with her and volunteered to help. The shadow half marathon program in particular was a dramatic success. Several dozen of my soldiers at the post, most of whom had never run a half marathon, got involved, set new milestones, and lost weight by the week. The day I formally took over the program, I was told that I would be moving to Camp Phoenix. I handed off my responsibilities to one of my soldiers who had thrived in the program.
I took the program with me, in miniature, to Camp Phoenix. I soon had an array of soldiers, mostly Canadian, running these races each week. I also found out who the local Run Master was and eventually took his responsibilities from him when he departed. Alongside the half marathons, I often coordinated and oversaw a weekly 5k. Eventually, in an effort to spice things up and get rid of old swag from prior races, I developed the "Camp Phoenix Rise From the Ashes Run," which offered awards for every 5 laps run, as well as requiring either push-ups, sit-ups, or pull-ups between each lap. If a runner maxed the event, they would have run 10 miles, done 160 push-ups, 120 sit-ups, and 32 pull-ups, plus come away with an array of prizes.
Of course, my highlight as Run Master came with our shadow Ragnar Relay, in which close to 60 runners formed five teams and ran a 200 mile relay along the same one mile track through mud and chill for the better part of 30 hours. I was joined by half a dozen others from my own unit, and we probably included about two dozen Canadians, several of whom graciously served as my team captains. This race garnered press in several publications throughout the US, and earned us a free team in the DC-area for the coming September. More important, my brother Canadian chaplain thanked me for reaching out to many of his soldiers and caring for them. He said it meant a lot to them all.
2) Fast Friendships
A number of my friendships prior to this deployment were strengthened. My roommate, CPT Zach Wang, and I became good friends. He had an incredibly blunt and brutal demeanor, which I often worked to soften. If he told someone he didn't like them, I would be right beside him, saying that he didn't mean that--he just didn't know them well enough. People were often amused by our friendship.
My best friend in the unit over the years was my politi-buddy, LT Keith Parchen. He was a political science major at UVA (a man after my own heart!) and was always ready to gently engage political and theological matters. Together with our activist friend and another soldier (both of whom I will not name because they are still over there), we enjoyed many an invigorating meal-time conversation. I also worked to connect Parch with the theology of his childhood Lutheranism, and believe that he grew in his Reformed convictions quite a bit during the deployment.
At just the right time, God provided me friendships I desperately needed at both Camp Eggers and Camp Phoenix. One was Megan (whose last name I won't include since she'll be returning), who turned out to be my lone Reformed buddy at Camp Eggers. She had been mentored by a prior PCA chaplain, and with a servant's heart, played the piano in each week's traditional service and helped lead the singing in each week's contemporary service. She combined her servant's heart with a keen sense of discernment with regard to what constituted faithful preaching of the Gospel and what did not. She would also email me Bible verses and tell me how she was praying for me each week, just before I preached on Sundays. May every local Church body have one of her!
Isolation began to set in when Megan left, and followed me as I moved over to a new environment at Camp Phoenix. About a week in, I noticed a Tabletalk magazine on the desk of one of our attached Air Force soldiers. Thus began my friendship with a young, hungry Reformed brother. By God's grace, I was able to meet with him weekly to go through Paul David Tripp's Dangerous Calling, and talk matters of ministry and theology. Over that time, LT Steve Stanton decided, in consulation with his wife, to pursue a Masters of Divnity at Reformed Theological Seminary in Charlotte. But we not only had a mentor-mentee relationship, but spoke and shared as brothers.
Like Megan, Zach, and Parch, he will be a friend for years to come. I didn't spend any time with another of my young officer friends, LT Michael Archie, during the deployment as he was down in the more hostile southern regions of the country. We have redeployed together and renewed our friendship, however, and eagerly talk about the possibility of doing Jump School together.
I also have an array of about two dozen others from the unit, some still deployed and some redeployed, who I count as friends (many with bonds that stretch over several years now). These friendships were used as vehicles for His ministry through me to my soldiers, and also will provide foundations for continued friendship for years to come.
1) God's Grace
In God's providence, I was enabled to become the lead "traditional" chaplain minister at both Camp Eggers and Camp Phoenix. At Camp Eggers, the Lutheran (Missouri Synod) chaplain I replaced was responsible for the traditional services and I took his place. I led the flock through a chapter of Philippians over the course of a month before I had to move to Camp Phoenix.
Once I moved to Camp Phoenix, I got together with the lead chaplain, who led the traditional service there. He was also responsible for other services in the Kabul area each Sunday. I volunteered to take over the traditional services and free him up for his other responsibilities. He graciously agreed and I took over right away! Over my four months at Camp Phoenix, I preached through a series on the "Gospel According to the Old Testament," as well as several Christmas-related sermons.
While the traditional services never reach the attendance numbers of the contemporary or Gospel services, they are a staple of every post and always in high demand by the more liturgical soldiers. Of greater relevance to the matter at hand, however, is that I had the opportunity to regularly preach the Gospel to dozens of soldiers each week. Some of these are unbelievers who come to connect with something historic or with the traditions of their upbringing. Others are part of Mainline churches and come to check the box. They all heard the Gospel clearly preached week after week.
In addition, I was given opportunity to preach at other services. I preached at my first contemporary service the night before I left Camp Eggers, and it had a bit of a ripple effect. The senior chaplain who usually led the service emailed me after I moved to tell me that he was feeling self-conscious (with a bit of humor) because of all the people who told him how much they appreciated the service.
This was actually a bit of a pattern--there was a much more vocal and notable response to my preaching of God's Word in the contemporary and Gospel services than in the traditional. I preached three contemporary and two Gospel services while at Camp Phoenix. There could be many explanations for this fact, and there is no doubt that I am a more natural fit in such services. But that also reaffirms my commitment to the OPC. I would rather be known for being more monotone, boring, and faithful (like Jonathan Edwards, though I'm not fit to tie his sandals) than being more dynamic, emotional and succeptible to accusations of manipulation (like George Whitfield, who Benjamin Franklin loved, though more for the show than for the subtance).
Of course, there was my small beloved Bible Studies as well. The "No BS BS" at both Camp Eggers and Camp Phoenix were both incubators of subtle but substantial growth in grace. Perhaps the greatest testament to God's grace in both of those studies is that they are being continued to this day in each post.
And that fact emphasizes a particular message I continually pressed while at both posts from Acts 7:54-8:3. Though Stephen was slain and the early Church savagely persecuted, the seeds of Gospel growth were being thrown to the winds and cast upon the nations, and likewise, the seeds of the Gospel were being planted in the heart of that day's antichrist, Saul of Tarsus, through the witness and final prayers of Stephen. In other words, the darkest days by any human measurement are often the brightest in the redemptive purposes of God. The gates of Hell shall never prevail. Praise be to God.
19.1.14
Top 5 Deployment Highlights (#5 and #4)
At the tail end of this time away, I would like to reflect on some of the "big picture" items that will have an enduring impact after this deployment. I will get the ball rolling with highlights...
5) Controversial Conversations
Soon after our mobilization began in Texas, a senior ranking officer sought me out and began to engage me on issues pertaining to marriage and sexuality. It turns out that besides being a practicing homosexual, he also was a crusader for "marriage equality" within the military and in society more generally. While his tunnel vision on the issue (all conversations directed back to it) was often disconcerting, the opportunities for cordial discussions, clear distinctions, and compassionate discernment was all more than encouraging.
We disagree sharply on this issue, which is far more important for him than it is for me, but he is a friend and I hope he takes me up on the offer to stay with us whenever he's in the DC area. Likewise, my unofficial assistant "Run Master" is a "married" lesbian. We worked well together and I expressed empathy when she was having relational struggles. She likewise has an open invitation to stay with us if ever in DC.
When set outside of the unfortunate paradigm of the culture wars, we are reminded that the key issue is that of spiritual warfare (Eph. 6)--some are saved by grace through faith in Christ, others need to be. Our goal must be gracious and truthful engagement with the friends God has placed in our lives.
4) Constant Counseling
I did not have any crisis counseling cases (i.e., someone with a weapon in his/her mouth), but I had many consequential counseling cases. Early on in Texas, I was focused on three soldiers: one who was perhaps not mentally equipped for this deployment, one who was confronting the demons of getting "blowed up" on a previous deployment, and another whose horrific childhood in Africa was re-lived in the cruel realties of war. The first was removed from our deployment roster, the second is a few short months away from succesfully completing her deployment, and the final one was sent home from Afghanistan for medical reasons.
Later, those cases gave way to a man who was considering ending his marriage (he didn't) and two soldiers who lost a father back in the States. Both are now faring well.
At my final post, counseling began with a team leader who carried his PTSD from prior deployments into work everyday, and an immature believer with a flurry of doubts and questions about the faith. The former soldier went home with our first wave, still intact, and the latter seemed to be softening and growing in the faith by the time I left.
There was a flurry of more dramatic cases at the very end, when a soldier whose engagement was falling apart came to me for emergency counseling. We met 1-2 times a week for the final month. The relationship is over, but the possibility of it being restored on a more solid footing is real. In addition, there was the soldier who realized his friend, David Lyon, was lost to the VBIED. We met 4+ times that week, with constant, informal following-up. He is back at duty and doing well.
Like the conversations mentioned above, the counseling cases were not only a part of my calling as a chaplain, but a part of my calling as a sinner saved by grace. I learned anew that my own growth is dependent upon challenging engagments with the antagonistic and the despondent.
5) Controversial Conversations
Soon after our mobilization began in Texas, a senior ranking officer sought me out and began to engage me on issues pertaining to marriage and sexuality. It turns out that besides being a practicing homosexual, he also was a crusader for "marriage equality" within the military and in society more generally. While his tunnel vision on the issue (all conversations directed back to it) was often disconcerting, the opportunities for cordial discussions, clear distinctions, and compassionate discernment was all more than encouraging.
We disagree sharply on this issue, which is far more important for him than it is for me, but he is a friend and I hope he takes me up on the offer to stay with us whenever he's in the DC area. Likewise, my unofficial assistant "Run Master" is a "married" lesbian. We worked well together and I expressed empathy when she was having relational struggles. She likewise has an open invitation to stay with us if ever in DC.
When set outside of the unfortunate paradigm of the culture wars, we are reminded that the key issue is that of spiritual warfare (Eph. 6)--some are saved by grace through faith in Christ, others need to be. Our goal must be gracious and truthful engagement with the friends God has placed in our lives.
4) Constant Counseling
I did not have any crisis counseling cases (i.e., someone with a weapon in his/her mouth), but I had many consequential counseling cases. Early on in Texas, I was focused on three soldiers: one who was perhaps not mentally equipped for this deployment, one who was confronting the demons of getting "blowed up" on a previous deployment, and another whose horrific childhood in Africa was re-lived in the cruel realties of war. The first was removed from our deployment roster, the second is a few short months away from succesfully completing her deployment, and the final one was sent home from Afghanistan for medical reasons.
Later, those cases gave way to a man who was considering ending his marriage (he didn't) and two soldiers who lost a father back in the States. Both are now faring well.
At my final post, counseling began with a team leader who carried his PTSD from prior deployments into work everyday, and an immature believer with a flurry of doubts and questions about the faith. The former soldier went home with our first wave, still intact, and the latter seemed to be softening and growing in the faith by the time I left.
There was a flurry of more dramatic cases at the very end, when a soldier whose engagement was falling apart came to me for emergency counseling. We met 1-2 times a week for the final month. The relationship is over, but the possibility of it being restored on a more solid footing is real. In addition, there was the soldier who realized his friend, David Lyon, was lost to the VBIED. We met 4+ times that week, with constant, informal following-up. He is back at duty and doing well.
Like the conversations mentioned above, the counseling cases were not only a part of my calling as a chaplain, but a part of my calling as a sinner saved by grace. I learned anew that my own growth is dependent upon challenging engagments with the antagonistic and the despondent.
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