New Year New You 5k

Following a recent tradition of setting up last-minute runs, I announced the formation of a New Year New You 5k. With my visiting parents and little boy helping at the starting line (wife was at home with a tired baby), we gathered a group of 7 runners. After instructions and prayer, we set off.

Unlike last time, most of the runners were not from church! Of course, we had the retired Rev. Tolsma and his wife with us, walking their way into the further lore of sweet, aged, couples who still enjoy time together--even if walking in freezing temperatures for an hour!

But we also had four young adults from the community--some who heard about us on Facebook and others from Meetup--who ran with me the whole time. I got to know their names, a bit about where they live and where they're from, as well as whether they're married and have kids. I asked for their input on improving our running group, and think they'll help me take it to the next level!

As we returned from our 5k on the icy paths, three of the runners turned around to do another lap and make it a 10k. I handed my card to the departing runner and ran into another man and his dog who was interested in the group (my parents had held him there until I arrived) and I handed him my card and the church card.

My dad them joined me for a light walk/jog to go meet up with Tolsmas and chat with them for a bit. We did so for a few minutes before again, running into a couple walking a dog. We let the Tolsmas continue on their way as we chatted up this random couple. Turns out that they are believers from down in Wheaton, IL--up here for the holidays. The wife expressed her heartache that most of her 9 siblings are not walking with the Lord. We spent some time in prayer together.

A little while later, the three remaining runners joined us at the finish, happily chatted for a few as our bodies cooled down from the run, and talked about vague plans for the future. Another gal who had been running around joined us well. She had arrived late for the run and had just jogged around aimlessly until we were done.

All in all, a fabulously encouraging event. We engaged 6 members of the community--a number of them for an extended period of time. We had an encouraging conversation with an out-of-town couple. And we watched with awe as a couple with a combined century and a half of years on them continued to enjoy the warmth of their marriage in the bitter cold of New Years.

As we embark upon the new year, remember that new you does not come through self-transformation, dramatic resolutions, or simply "turning the page."

"If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation--the old has gone, the new has come." (2 Cor. 5:17)

What To Do With Your Depression

Shove it. No, not in the way you think. Nor should you should shove it down.

You should shove it out into the light. Let me explain.

I counseled an old married couple in the community this morning, and at the heart of their difficulty was the fact that the husband wasn't sharing his the entirety of his struggle with depression with is wife. As a result, she had less insight into his struggle and felt helpless and out of control. This was something that my own wife called me out on early in our marriage.

Depression can be devastating, but it doesn't need to be destructive. It isn't some overbearing monster that we are powerless to fight against. It is actually quite normal. And it must always be engaged. Left unchecked, depression can ruin lives. Actively engaged, it can enrich lives. How can you turn your depression into a net positive?

1) Acknowledge it. It's not as if people don't notice. When you just tell people it's a bit of stress, or that it's just a passing phase--they know you're lying to them (or to yourself). When you look at the landscape of your life and see nothing but darkness--when you feel hopeless--then you're depressed.

2) Don't be a victim. People with depression suffer...a lot. But they aren't victims. Very few cases of depression are chemically or biologically based, and even those cases can be effectively treated. Depressed people already feel hopeless and helpless and the last the we should do is treat them as such. If you have depression, take responsibility for it. When the "black dog" (as Churchill called it) rares its ugly head, sit down, grab a pen and paper, and spell out the lies that it is telling you about your life. Take the positive data from your life and stare the dog down.

You can also engage in behaviors that limit the triggers for your depression. Go to sleep at a decent time and try to get a full night's rest. Avoid lethargy. Work extra hours at your job. Put in extra time at the gym. Get sucked into a new hobby. And don't self-medicate with alcohol!

3) Let people know. Depression thrives on privacy and imagination. When you're alone, there is no one to ask you to help with the groceries, let alone check your destructive thought patterns. You'll find that many friends and family member have or are struggling with depression. This normalizes the struggle, makes it safe to talk about, and enables you to more effectively combat it.

4) Enlist the support of several key people. This may involve some of the friends and family above, but it especially involves (1) a counselor, and (2) your spouse. There is a stigma attached to both depression and to seeking out help. Frankly, the stigma is stupid and those who uphold it are ignorant. Counselors are trained to ask you the right questions and help lead you on the right rabbit trails that will help you understand yourself better and heal. They are key allies.

Even more important than the counselor in many ways in your spouse. Your spouse may not be able to treat you in the same ways as a counselor, but he/she is your daily companion in the fight. Either they fight with you, or you hold them at arm's length and they fight against you. God has placed one person in your life to see all of the deepest, darkest parts of you. One person in your life with the charge to love you unconditionally as long as you both shall live. If you're willing to get physically naked in front of them, you should be willing to get emotionally naked as well. They know you the best and can help you the most.

5) Go to church. Not just to check the box or feel like a good person, but because you need to hear the Gospel! "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" (Jer. 17:9) Even with positive data points, you can't will, think, or feel your way into a healthy state of mind. You need to be reminded that Jesus came for the sick, not the healthy; the sinners, not the righteous. You need to be reminded to "Set your minds on things above, where Christ is...for your life is hidden with Christ in God." (Col. 3:1-4) This heart-penetrating message, delivered point blank to your heart and those alongside of you in the pews, will transform you.

That is what I mean by "shove it." Shove your broken heart before your own eyes in acknowledgement, take responsibility for it, shove it before the eyes of others, especially those best equipped to help you, and shove it before the Throne of Grace, where your most malicious marks will be most masterfully managed.

Resting in Christ

In God's providence, He makes me take my own medicine after I offer it to others.

Just yesterday, I preached on the importance of resting by faith, just as much as walking by faith. There are times when we simply need to be reminded of the completed work of Christ and its ongoing effects so that we might find comfort in overwhelming situations.

This morning, I realized that someone from the community had left me a voicemail while I was preaching. The man said he met me at a political event (packages for soldiers) where I offered a prayer. He said that he and his wife really needed by help, preferably before the evening (that was last evening!).

I panicked. I was watching my boy while my wife was working out. I couldn't even call the man back. While I was listening to the voicemail, my boy wanted my attention. I grew frustrated at my smart phone for not letting me know I had a voicemail, my own negligence for not checking my voicemail yesterday, and my little boy for wanting my attention when there was a pressing matter I needed to address.

When my wife came home, I was high-strung, irritable, and ready to race out the door to go to work at church. I needed to take my own medicine.

First, resign the things you can't control. You don't invest too much thought or feeling into circumstances you can't change. You have to seek contentment in such things, and focus on circumstances you can change.

Second, do this by seeing the big picture. God is sovereign (all-controlling) over all circumstances. His total control and His perfect character--most clearly manifested in the person and work of Christ--is the basis for your contentment.

Third, taking responsibility for the things you can control. You must give your "yesterdays" to the Lord and offer yourself to Him today. In this case, I needed to call the man as soon as I was able, apologize for missing his call, and ask if I could be of service.

By God's grace, the man was gracious and asked if I could visit with he and his wife tomorrow morning. I enthusiastically said "Yes!" The added perk--I get to enjoy driving by the Wisconsin snow-scape!

Before I walked through this process, I was a mess--and I spilled onto other people and things. In submitting to God's sovereignty, resigning the things I couldn't control and taking responsibility for the things I could--I found peace and a measure of the rest that Christ alone affords.