Several dozen soldiers gathered in a circle this afternoon, all obviously fatigued. They are experiencing what soldiers always experience as their time on deployment comes to a close--utter exhaustion. Constant vigilance and paranoia and adapting to flux--all these things mean that real rest is virtually impossible. When these soldiers return home, there will be lots of sleep, mindless activity, and alone time.
Thankfully, four of our six soldiers with autumn/winter babies are heading home. What a wonderful gift to their families that they will be there to care for their little ones! The other two will miss the birth of their firstborn, but accept that grim reality as part and parcel of doing their duty.
I will likely never see many of these soldiers again. Many of them are cross-leveled from other units in distant states. Many others that I have known for several years will now transition to other units as part of the normal process as a Reservist. I may see them in civilian garb if we occasion to get together in NoVa, but will likely not see the wearing the uniform again.
There is a good chance that I will be moving on from my unit after this deployment as well. Chaplains usually don't stay with a unit for more than a couple years. In the next year, I will probably transition to another unit in the DC area--hopefully one that can get me a slot in jump school, air assault school, and perhaps one day, Ranger school.
I talk with soldiers about their military ambitions quite often. I can envision that one or two of my junior officer friends will eventually get their star (become a low-level general). I don't think I'll ever attain that rank, nor do I necessarily want to. I want to do all the schools, however, and acquire all the skills necessary to join and move with any type of unit. By God's grace, I want to be the type of chaplain who can fill needs that arise, no matter the level of difficulty. We shall see.
These soldiers will travel back to the real world, or will they? Is the real world one of picket fences, forty hour work weeks, and summer vacations? Or is it one of civil strife, mass corruption, and uncertainty? I wonder if part of the adjustment gap for soldiers returning home comes with the realization that the stability and security of home is largely illusory.
They will not worry about IEDs on the highway, nor look around nervously for VBIEDs (vehicle-based) every time they are forced to stop for traffic. Whether working on a car in the bay of a repair shop and clicking away on a computer on a cubicle, they will not keep alert for the "big voice" to announce that there is an active shooter or that there is incoming mortar rounds. But is this home life really comforting?
Is the monotony of "normal life" truly a thing to be desired? A soldier need not see combat to know that his world will never be the same after a deployment. On random days, he will smell the pungent stench of the fire pit. When he is alert or anxious, he will recognize that failing in the pit of his stomach from his days riding along the pothole-marked roads of a distant land, awaiting the worst.
He will tuck his little boy or girl into bed at night, knowing that by God's grace, he might have played a part in keeping a life of terror at bay--just far enough away from home to give his family peace. But the memories will never leave him. The reality will never escape him--brokenness is a more fundamental feature of this world than peace and freedom.
Perhaps the day will come when the home front becomes the war front. Political debates will be but historical novelties. Social gatherings will be a luxury, not a convenience. If those days were to come, the soldier, with his deep familiarity with the world in its brokenness, will stand ready.
The more fundamental question that extends beyond history and geography: Wherever you stand in this world, what is it that you are standing for? Can it be shaken by war or terror? Can it be taken away?
Can you stare into the abyss of death and feel confidence, hope, peace, even joy? Like the Israelites and Egyptians of old, we will all tread upon the ground amidst the Red Sea, gazing at the walls of water on either side. For some, those walls of water will represent the supernatural security afforded by a God who allowed His Son to be submerged for their sake. For others, they, like the Egyptians, will awaken to their plight before God just in time to notice that they stand between the towering prospect of their doom. Time will have run out.
My friends, we stand betwixt the waves. With Christ at the helm, we will pass safely through into eternal glory. If you live with the illusion that your currently life of security will carry over into eternity, please wake up and heed what lies on either side of you. Wake up now and embrace the Savior of sinners. Do not tarry, for the day may come when you awake to a terror much greater than any offered by this world, as a sinner in the hands of an angry God, caught between the waves.
