There was a time when one generation would look to their forebears for wisdom. That time is largely past, which is an utter shame. While I could write about the need to for young people to listen anew to their elders, I cannot do so in good conscience without making a number of qualifications.
The reality that young people face today is that most older people are not worthy founts of wisdom. Young people today have largely been raised by a generation "liberated" from tradition and moral norms. I have counseled/listened to a great number of young adults who had to make a definitive moral stand in defiance of the parents' wisdom.
For example, while it may be rare, some ten percent of men and a slightly larger percentage of women will choose to remain abstinent until marriage. This fact (the self-discipline of some, not the percentages) would have once been a source of pride for parents, who would fret over whether their child would maintain his/her virtue in the face of peer pressure.
Nowadays, a child in need of moral advice is just as like to here thoughtless cliches regarding sexuality from his/her parents as from friends. A young man who announces to his parents his decision to abstain might be met with "You should try the milk before you buy the cow," or "You should take the car for a test drive." How these petty sentiments survived adolescence is beyond me.
There is also the key piece of social wisdom offered for those looking to get married: "Wait." My wife and I received this unsolicited advice quite a bit as we diligent prepared for marriage. Many seem to think that early marriage is the key contributor to divorce, despite the likely reality that marriage attrition is far worse in the metropolitan areas of America, despite the fact that people marry later in these areas.
But the million dollar question awaits those who would foist their marital wisdom on young people: Why should they listen to marriage advice from a generation in which half of all couples are divorced? Not exactly the type of thing that the purveyors of such advice would hang on a plaque on their wall.
Now, as soon as someone gets married, the child-rearing barrage begins. Boiling down the predominant wisdom in this regard, it comes down to "Wait." Supposedly, there is a whole lot of fun to be had, or a theoretical (but never specified) financial foundation to be laid, before one can have kids. I guess that one is then supposed to have kids when the funds are plentiful and the fun runs out. It is then that we can follow in our parents' footsteps and bring our afterthought infants into a world where the precedent has already been established that they're secondary to other considerations.
Then there's the sexist advice. My wife was reminded quite a few times prior to and during our marriage that the physical side of marriage is "not just about him." Many people are taught that men are merely walking sexual appendages and that women must browbeat their neanderthal men into humble submission.
I do not mean this as an attack upon the moral vacuity of the prior generation, but a critique of the intellectual vacuity that accompanies it. I may think Camille Paglia is way off in her conception of morality, but she is at least thoughtful in her approach. Her line of feminist thinking at least prepares the way for discussion and critical thinking.
Young people, the truth is that you cannot fully trust the wisdom of most of your elders, and any wisdom that commends a trial and error approach to life is not wisdom worth remembering. Demands moral clarity and intellectual credibility from all of your elders. Knowing that many will not provide either, seek out those adults who you trust and adhere to a standard you desire to emulate. My wife and I were mentored by a married couple of several decades who not only were surviving, but thriving in their marriage.
Feel free to get married quickly. You don't need to truly "know" someone before you get married. Marriage is a lifelong process of accumulating knowledge on the person you love. Once married, if you have already received pre-marital counseling and are willing to always go back, have children as soon as you want. They are not a burden. They do not inhibit fun. They sanctify and teach you how to truly love, by God's grace.
In sum, contemporary social wisdom is not wise at all. It is vague, thoughtless, and the proof of its ineptitude is found in the pudding of its devastating social consequences. The authority of the Christian is Jesus Christ as He speaks through His Word. Hold all "wisdom" to the light of God's Word to test its truth. For God's Word is a light unto our feet (Ps. 119), and that Word of truth, beauty, and power--as shared to us by our elders who live by it in God's grace--will make us wise unto salvation, fully prepared for every good work (2 Tim. 3:15-17).
