I met for coffee with my future ministerial colleague today for coffee, as I do each week. We continued to work through Dangerous Calling, describing the real risks and dangers posed by the ministry.
This time was immediately proceeded by coffee with a Baptist pastor who serves as a civilian worker out here. He is a bit of an "undercover" minister here, and after a long and distinguished military career, uses this civilian work to minister to populaces under the shadow of tyranny. This pastor-missionary described the many struggles faced by the pastor of his home church in the States.
From that meeting, I went straight to our service project event, followed immediately by dinner (it was a busy day). At dinner, some of my tablemates were talking through pastoral struggles that they had witnessed or knew of. I detected a theme that needed to be addressed.
The pastoral ministry is truly a dangerous calling. A sinner is called, through no work of His own, to occupy the position of God's ambassador to His people, though he be horribly ill-equipped for the task in and of himself. He must minister to fellow sinners who are often incredibly messy (like he is), but beloved by God. He also has a spiritual bulls-eye on his back, as Satan loves to run amuck within the sheepfold of God's people, and taking down the undershepherd is the easiest way to do so.
And the pastor is just as vulnerable to Satan as anyone else because he is still as much a sinner as anyone else. The only problem is, everyone else can go to the pastor for counsel and care, as well as to the rest of the body. The pastor often doesn't feel enabled to access these same means of grace. The people expect him to be a preacher and counselor, not a fellow sinner in need of grace. He imposes this same deception upon himself, often with catastrophic consequence from him and his family.
Here are a number of ways we can care for our pastors:
1) Pray for him. This is always everyone's first response and can seem cliche, but it is not less true and powerful. When we recognize our spiritual neediness, we approach the throne of grace. The pastor is in a place of incredible neediness and needs our prayers for the same grace. Pray for him before the service, and pray for him and his family throughout the week.
2) Encourage him. This can easily tend toward flattery. Do not deceive with false praise or puff him up with exaggerations. After a sermon, tell him some of the things that struck you (not just "good message, pastor"). Ask him what is was about those truths that convicted/comforted him in the past week. Also avoid the opposite of encouragement--slander and gossip. If you have a problem with something the pastor says or does, bring it to him immediately. And love him by giving him the benefit of the doubt.
3) Befriend him. Not all of us are called to be friends with our pastors, but some of us need to be. He needs what every other part of the body of Christ needs--the ability to be a sinner in need of grace within a community that reminds him that grace is ever abounding in Christ Jesus. In other words, like the rest of the body, he needs to be safe.
4) Minister to him. While there is a difference between the public and private ministry of the Church, this private ministry is no less valuable to the pastor than the rest of the body. You can preach to him or administer the sacraments, but you can invite him into your home for a meal. You can ask him to be part of a small group in which he is not the leader, and even better, where he isn't looked to for the answer to every single question. He can sit back and enjoy the Word and prayer as communicated through his fellow believers.
5) Serve his family. If a pastor cannot adequately care for his family, he cannot adequately care for the church. Make sure he has plenty of time with them. Don't foist his wife into a role that you have defined for her--let her figure it out in accordance with her own gifts. Take their kids and give them date nights. Have a secret fund at the ready in case they ever need marriage counseling.
These are not selfish requests for pastors. The reality is that the pastor-congregant relationship is much like that of a husband-wife (the former is compared to a body, the latter is "one flesh"). The more the pastor and his family are protected and cared for, the more they will be able to care for the rest of the body.
