Straight Thoughts on Dealing with Homosexuality

I spoke with a grieving soldier for a few minutes on the phone last night. His mom's lesbian partner of eighteen years--his "step-mom"--passed away from liver failure.

It is times like this that an issue like homosexuality becomes decidedly less political. Some might wonder how I, as an evangelical chaplain, can counsel somebody on such an occasion.

And I come back to the same basic point that I have often made before: sin is sin, suffering is suffering, people are people. How would I counsel a soldier whose mom lost her live-in boyfriend of eighteen years and thus was like a father to the soldier?

This soldier's family is proof that many of our sociological arguments against homosexuality ultimately don't hold water. From what meager statistics we can conjure up, are homosexual couples more likely to be promiscuous or break-up? Yep. But clearly not all of them. Sometimes, they will last until the end of life.

In addition, is the lack of both a mother and father in the home a detriment to children? Certainly, though that situation is the norm at this point. But my soldier is not irretrievably damaged. He is married (to a woman), and has three beautiful kids.

As with evolution, Christians cannot employ a "God of the gaps" line of logic in dealing with homosexuality. We expose a unresolved dilemma for the Darwinist scientist, but that dilemma could potentially be resolved through the modern scientific method. We expose probably moral consequences of homosexual relationships, but those moral consequences may not always hold.

But the better approach is not the same for these two issues. For evolution, we work to undermine the modern scientific enterprise by exposing its faulty philosophical foundations. For homosexuality, we engage sinners like ourselves, not in argument, but with compassion and carefully-worded truth.

I mentioned nothing of homosexuality last night with my soldier. It would be callous and heartless to do so. I grieved with him and prayed for his mother especially. Her pain is nothing less that the person married for eighteen years or with a live-in boyfriend. A broken heart is a broken heart.

And in the long-run, I ask convicting questions of folks from all walks of life, myself included, regarding relationships. What are they for? Simply for our happiness and amusement? To make us feel loved and needed and important? Or are they meant to point to something greater? Is sexuality at the core of relationships, or is sacrifice? What then are we called to sacrifice, and to what end?

God-willing, these sorts of questions will lead the homosexual, promiscuous heterosexual, and me all to the same conclusion, by God's grace: My goal in my relationships is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. And the rule for bringing glory to my mighty and gracious God is His Word, through which He leads me in paths of righteousness for His Name's sake. Sexuality is important, but ultimately, I desire His pleasure more than my own.

May we all seek to subordinate our sinful desires to His glorious will. May we find our pleasure in His pleasure. And may He graciously grant us the strength to do this!