Watch Your Tone!

With my wife's helpful input, I realized recently that I have a tone.

Sometimes, the wrong tone can be found in the begrudging demeanor of a child when he acquiesces to doing a chore. Perhaps it can be found in patronizing parent, or a condescending employer. We often think of the glaring examples, but we should be thinking more about whether we personally have a tone.

For me, it comes with cultural, political, or religious matters. I get really excited about discussing an issue, or like the attention I get from it, so my tone becomes impassioned to the point of overwhelming. I have consoled myself over the years with the thought that it is just an idiosyncratic part of my personality--I am enthusiastic about everything!--or with the disclaimer, "If you have a thought, just interrupt me and chime in."

But people rarely chime in. Is it because I am so profound? I doubt it. I think it's because I carry a tone. Whether it's Facebook, fast food, organic food, the environment, or something even more pedantic--I often shut the conversation down with my "excitement." At times, people find my infamous rants humorous, but at other times, they must clearly be annoying.

And I am embarrassed by my tone. It does not bring me pleasure to dominate a conversation. It does not bring me joy to ask why it is that I get so wound up, and whether it is a mask for some form of insecurity. Perhaps that why I often prefer the more deliberative format of the blog to the perilous navigation of fellowship hall conversations. I'm less likely to make a monkey of myself!

As I look deeper at this neglected area of my speech, I realize anew that there is a biblical issue at stake in one's tone. James, by God's inspiration, tells us to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (ch1). So speech, and the lack thereof, is important. Of course, we all know that James then goes on to talk about taming the tongue, and how the sparks of an untamed tongue can ignite a fire.

But those sparks are not only carried by the weight of our words, but the weight of our tone. Peter instructs us that "in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect" (1 Pet. 3:15, italics mine). It is not enough to carefully prepare your platter of arguments and data points, but the platter must be presented in an appetizing manner--that pertains to tone.

And who better to learn this from than Jesus? He is the Word. The world was spoken into existence through Him. And He uses His Word to call people to saving faith, yet, at the same time, He is the Word that every many must call upon to be saved. So He is clearly the reference point for all our speech.

In His grace, He instructs us, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matt. 11:28-30, italics mine). As He calls you and me to call upon His name, He calls us with gentleness to a Savior's heart, meek and lowly.

Friends, we make our defense with gentleness and respect because the Savior who made us His own is Himself gentle and lowly in heart. And our Good Shepherd bids us and empowers us to do the same--thankfully using the same gentleness in which He saved us.

In gratitude, let us be more deliberate in abiding by that simple parental scold: Watch your tone!