What an encouraging week!
Amidst a wave of sicknesses that swept through our family (including my visiting in-laws), I received a lot of positive news on the professional front.
*I was appointed to the Menomonee Falls Library Board. I will now be working with a group of impassioned citizens to shape the direction of this venerable institution and social hub in the Falls.
*I am now regularly blogging for a new political website, which gives me an opportunity to channel my love for politics into something that doesn't interfere with the Lord's ministry at Falls Church.
*I have an interview tomorrow at the YMCA to discuss the possibility of leading a Boot Camp course. Like the library, the Y tends to be a social hub for the Falls.
In each of these things, the Lord has provided me with opportunities to use my meager gifts in His service, form greater contacts within the community, and earn more income for my family. It is amazing--the Lord's provision for our family has always been a provision in pieces. And such provision keeps us humble and grateful.
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I was running with another runner on our weekly Tuesday night run when he asked me about my other Meetup group, now named "The Real Happy Hour." I gave him the gist--a no-BS discussion group where we can talk about deep things. He told me that he grew up Roman Catholic and was thinking about returning to the church.
But, he said in a self-consoling manner, I still have faith and I think that's the most important thing. Naturally, we spent the last mile of our run talking about "faith in what?" Religion means nothing. For most of the world, religion is a system of belief built upon one's ability to do good and please God. Faith means nothing. For most of the world, faith is simply the belief in one's inner goodness and ability.
Faith in Jesus Christ is utterly distinct. Such faith recognizes that there is nothing in one's own heart worthy of trust or hope. It instead receives and recognizes Christ alone for salvation. And such faith is also a gift--the God-given instrument through which God grants sinners salvation (Eph. 2:8-9).
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A third runner was absent from these discussions, but joined me for a drink afterward to talk about the other Meetup group. We talked for a little while, but whenever I asked about his current relationship, he deferred. He said he likes talking religion and politics, but not personal things. I asked him if he uses topics like religion and politics to keep people from getting to know him.
I remember one guy who often came to our discussion Meetup in DC. He loved to debate religion (often obnoxiously), but refused to get personal. I would try to ask about his upbringing, his marriage, his children, but he would refuse. It's amazing that people are willing to talk about intellectual abstractions, but not let you near the personal experience that shapes their thinking!
My theory during that time was that the man was using his constant intellectual musings to deflect from anything personal. In a sense, he used his intellect as a barrier to keep him safe. And I think that we often do that. We use all manner of devices--from divulging almost everything about ourselves to constantly advancing meaningless intellectual arguments to emotional manipulation--all in the name of keeping people from seeing the real us.
The truth is that such deflections to make us look any prettier. And the nastiness we often think we're protecting is still nastiness that we love so much that we'll do anything to protect it. It is a perverse form of self-loathing self-love.
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That night concluded with several hours of good conversations with a brother from the church. He was going through a lot of hard circumstances and was often not handling them in the best ways. And he didn't hide any of it. He is a broken man, but he is God's broken man. Because he is broken--and he knows it--he can marvel every day at the grace of God and endeavor to do better. His failures teach him. When he sees his lack of grace, he sees God's abundance of grace. It's beautiful.
Like many of you, I struggle with my brokenness. I am ashamed of it and desire to cover it up. I want people to see a smart me, a strong me, a fake me--that is really no more attractive than the ugliness I hide. All of me belongs to Jesus. My life is hidden with Christ in God. He knows me, inside and out, and He loves me (Psalm 139). That means I can be who I am, because what I am is saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.
The solution to our fear comes in knowing that we are always safe in Christ.
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