One year ago, Chappy Standard Time (currently in the Afghan mountains), she was enjoying the drug-induced comfort of bed, celebrating her 29th birthday.
She wrote the following to me before she fell asleep tonight (her time):
"As I was waking up from emergency surgery this day last year, through my anesthesia I heard the word "benign" and then I heard two heartbeats on monitors--my heartbeat and the heartbeat of my 13-week-old baby, our little [boy], who survived the surgery. And then I saw you. It was the best birthday of my life. And I doubt that any birthday will beat it. I have all that I need and more. There really are no words to express my love for you and thankfulness to God except His own.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
2 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
3 who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
5 who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. - Psalm 103"
What is a nine month separation compared to a life long one? My dear wife and I were hit square between the eyes with God's gracious providence. Her struggles with anxiety have never ramped up to the same extent after having to cede control of her life and that of our baby to God's hand alone. My pride was given a kick to the gut that it still hasn't recovered from as I had to trust that those I would die to protect were more sheltered in the hand of the Good Shepherd than my own.
And that time proved to be God's appointed training ground for this deployment as well. The same God who rescued my wife and boy from the pit is the same God who shelters us under His wing today (Ps. 91). "Good Shepherd" is a particularly meaningful analogy for our Savior, Jesus Christ, at this juncture in life, as we have seen the omnipotence of our Lord matched in perfection by His tender care.
My cup is filled to the brim, flowing with the waters of life sprining from the person and work of Jesus Christ. And in Him, I have been given grace upon grace, of which my wife and boy are the foremost. More and more, I see my life animated by a desire to see my wife and children grow in knowledge and love for their Savior. Like Simeon, I can depart in peace at any time, knowing that Jesus is working in and through the lives of my precious family.
Today marks 30 years of life for my wife, and one year of life after receiving her back from the dead (as Scripture describes the sparing of Isaac upon the altar). I care little for birthdays, but care greatly for the lives of my wife and boy. I rejoice in their love and endeavor to secure them in mine, as a reflection of the greater love of Jesus. Wifey, you are the delight of my heart and life.
By God's grace, I will seek to enjoy you and our little ones for however many days God gives us, and glorify Him from the start to the close. What a wonderful life we live!
