On Porn and Dessert...

I don't like dessert. Well, that is not exactly true. I am more of a meat tooth than a sweet tooth, but if you drop off mint chocolate chip ice cream or coconut cream pie, I may over-indulge.

In fact, that's why I don't like dessert. I don't like having sweets around the house because they are more satisfying in theory than in practice and echo with David Spade's voice: "Ugh, I am watching you get fatter" (spoken to Chris Farley in Tommy Boy).

Desserts never truly satisfy. The initial taste is alluring, the aftertaste is guilt and regret.

In this way, dessert is like pornography. It holds lots of promise--sexual satisfaction without selflessness, pleasure without responsibility, etc. But like the fruit of tree of the knowledge of good and evil, picking the forbidden fruit has consequences.

There are lots of statistics regarding pornography addiction circulating, but regardless of which ones you examine, they are all startling. For example, one statistic shows that 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women are currently addicted to pornography.

Look around the pews at Church. Half of the men and a quarter of the women are likely addicted to pornography. In my experience working with people on this issue, the numbers are likely higher. Now take a moment and look at your own heart. Either you are one of these statistics, or you are lusting in your heart (which is tantamount to adultery), or you are one of the rare freaks of nature who doesn't struggle in this regard, which likely means you have a self-righteousness problem.

I would guess that about 9 out of every 10 men and 4 or 5 out of every 10 women in our society dabble in pornography on occasion. And probably half of each don't really care.

But we should. Pornography gradually makes you a glutton for instant gratification. I sent out a British article on this blog about six months ago, showing how habitual use of pornography amongst British youth totally warped their view of time, relationships, love, sex, and the future.

When my son is placed in his high chair in preparation for dinner, he inevitably begins to whine. He loves food and he doesn't want to wait. I am the same way. If I am hungry and want meat, don't get in my way! Our gluttony turns what should be a more pleasurable experience into a means for immediate gratification.

How do we respond to this epidemic of the heart? For one, we should be diligent in spending intentional time with the Lord in Word and prayer. Our hearts have a hard time holding tightly to two loves--usually one is of necessity pushed to the margins. Second, we shouldn't let a sense of false piety get in the way of making hard choices, like getting a filter placed on our computer, or giving our computer to a loved one each night.

There is one ministry that I think is particularly helpful in this regard: http://www.xxxchurch.com/. They have a free program (or paid, with more benefits) called "X3 Watch" that reports all questionable site visits to three accountability buddies of your choosing once a week.

But in all of this, remember that there is hope both short-term and long-term. Short-term, there is the knowledge that if you are in Christ, you are a new creation, and by God's grace, He will transform your mind and conform you to the image of His Son (2 Cor. 5:17; Rom. 12:2; Col. 3:10; Eph. 4:24). You are growing by the day.

Long-term, there is the knowledge that it is Christ's righteousness, not your own, that pardons you before the judgment seat of God. You are not a sex addict in any regard if you are in Christ, because He was not a sex addict and you are hidden in His blood and perfect righteousness (Col. 3:1-4). If you struggle, take practical steps to protect yourself, entrusting yourself to the Savior who defines you as His own and is working in and through you by the day.