What has happened to our youth: Ways we slip up.

In the last post, we discussed briefly the fact that many youth from Christian households end up forsaking even the most basic of Christian beliefs and instead embrace what was sociologically and popularly labeled "moralistic therapeutic deism."

A great episode on this very issue can be found at the White Horse Inn.

But how did they get to this point?

An important qualifier must be stated from the outset: All parents and churches fall short in every way when it comes to raising children in the love and nurture of the Lord. Our knowledge of man's depravity excludes every possibility of us doing this entirely right. Salvation comes from the Lord. It is our heavenly Father who truly shepherds the soul, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Our goal is not as much to check all the boxes, but point to the grace of One whose love is never inadequate.

That said, here are some of trends within the Church and Christian households that can hinder the growth of a little one toward Christ:

Ministry Priorities. As churches feared a decline in cultural influence and stressed the importance of individual evangelism, they lost sight of the most important group: "covenant" children. These children belong to God, who told Abraham concerning His promise of Christ: These promises are for you and your children. I urge you to compare the number of passages concerning outreach with those dealing with raising your children in the faith. The latter dominates the former. That doesn't mean we should neglect to tell others about the love of Jesus, but it starts in the home.

Lack of Substance. Much of the Church fails to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ, which is its sole message. Evangelicals, this is not just the obvious apostasy of the mainline churches that we are talking about. Many of our Gospel-believing churches are not Gospel-proclaiming churches. While Christ said "all these (Scriptures) testify to me," we often say "all these testify to ME." Making moral lessons the focus is not only unfaithful to the Text, but as it tells us what to do rather than telling us what Jesus did, it is simply an expression of the Law. And the Law doesn't transform hearts, the Gospel does.

Fundamentalism. This is a loaded term. In its original sense, it simply meant an orthodox Christian who still believed in the basic tenets of Christianity. It was also often used to attack orthodox Christians, inferring that they are backward and on "the wrong side of history." BUT, in its modern sense, it often refers to those who add to Scripture, imposing an extra moral code to prevent the "appearance of evil," and an extra political code, to make sure someone lines up on the right side of the aisle.

While many parents who subscribe to this worldview believe in Jesus Christ, they practically diminish His work when go beyond Scripture with these codes. I'm not talking about normal rules of wisdom, like "Don't touch the stove." I am talking about those rules like "Don't smoke, drink, or chew or go with those who do" that are given religious sanction though they are complete unbiblical. By restricting Christian freedom, we mis-define sin for our children. At some point, our children will go to a dance of play cards. They will discover that there is nothing inherently evil about either enterprise. They begin to question what they've been taught about sin, then whether they are truly sinners, then whether they truly need a Savior. I've seen many a youth unravel.

Lack of Intentionality. I must confess that this is my primary area of struggle. Even though I have shepherded young adults who resent their parents' lack of spiritual guidance, I struggle to do the same. It feels weird to try to do a morning devotion when I'm still only half awake, knowing that my son sees an open Bible but doesn't understand anything I am saying. It is easy to try to get some work done while I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on him. And how am I supposed to reign in my love for sarcasm, which doesn't make sense and can hurt a guileless child?

My wife sets a great example for me in this regard. Each night before bed, she reads our son a Bible story and sings a hymn with him. She then lets me know they're ready for me, we all sing our evening lullaby ("Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus") together, pray for our son and grace for his nurture, and put him down to sleep.

I had a friend tell me recently how hard it is to watch his words around his kids. I can imagine! But the bottom line, whether it comes to our family devotions, attention and instruction, or our speech, is this: Our children learn what is most important to us, and what is most important for them, from what we go out of our way to intentionally teach them. If they don't see us struggle to keep the Gospel in the fore, feebly as we do, they will question its worth and whether it worth their time.

Being Patronizing. Since when did entertainment become the primary goal of Christian nurture? And since when did we assume that children can't handle basic instruction and teens can't handle wrestling with more sophisticated subjects? The "old" method of nurturing our youth included teaching them the catechism, which helped then learn and articulate the key concepts of the faith, know their Bibles, and have a mental record of what is true in a deceptive world.

Now, many Sunday School and youth programs focus on entertainment. Young people are shown that they are the center of the world because these programs are all about them. Teaching the faith is often an afterthought. I came to Christ through a wonderful youth group that was active in sharing the Gospel, and the number of unbelievers who came to various events often swelled our numbers to double or triple the normal size. But it was impossible to shepherd all these kids, encourage them to profess their faith and join the Church, and get to know their families. The numbers swelled for a few years, but most of these kids, including quite a few of the covenant children, gave it all up when they left for college.

Ownership. Of the dozens of benefits that come with growing up in the Church, a distinct hardship is found in the need for ownership of one's own faith. The Christian father is head and shepherd of the home; the Christian mother often the daily nurturer. Both of them are really stand-ins for God, stewarding children who really belong to Him. We are training our children to have their own relationship with Him, apart from us. And they will only learn to do this as they establish their own identity in Christ, by His grace.

A large part of this comes when a covenant child makes his or her own profession of faith, takes the Lord's Supper, and engages in the body life of the Church on his or her own accord. But this also comes from articulating their faith in the real world. The family and Church are the incubators of faith for Christ's little ones, but they only learn to walk on their own once they are outside the confines of each. They must articulate amidst adversity without falling back on family or Church as a crutch. This is what we're training them for--owning their Savior before the Church and the world.