Son, You Are Safe

The night before last, I heard my little boy scampering around his room long after we put him to bed. I walked across the hall, opened his door and light flooded into the hallway. He is not supposed to turn on the lights at night, but something seemed different at this late hour. Usually, when he is being naughty after going to bed, he races back to his bed and hides under the covers as soon as he hears us coming.

Not this time. He was lying on top of his covers, staring blankly across the room, almost shivering. Considering the late hour, I told my wife that I thought he had a bad dream. I turned out the lights, curled up with him, and whispered "Buddy, God loves you. Do you know what that means? It means you are safe."

We prayed "God keep [my boy] safe in the love of Jesus so that he won't be scared and help him to get a good night's sleep." I heard him whisper "Amen" after me. I kissed his head, got up, and went to bed.

The next morning, my wife found him sleeping with the lights on.

Disobedience? I don't think so. It takes an entire lifetime of being scared to learn about what it means to be safe in the love of God. That powerful lesson is just starting for him.

After my wife found our boy asleep with the lights on, I left for a conference and sat under two convicting seminars on remembering the past and repentance. In remembering the past, I am to reflect upon God's sovereign work in biblical history, church history, my denomination, my church, and my own life. In the process, I will naturally celebrate His goodness. Then comes repentance, and the need to honestly assess the health of my church and my own heart.

I was convicted that most every flaw I saw in the church is also in my own heart. I cannot ask those I help shepherd to grow and move forward if I am not willing to do so as well. For the first time in a long time, I felt the sting and sorrow of my own sin--that I have been demanding health from others when I have not been healthy. I equate busyness with holiness and have neglected the Great Physician and self-medicated with invigorating conversations. Lord, test my thoughts, see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way!

My wife and I enjoyed a good conversation with a female friend last night while her husband labored in the NICU as a nurse. She told us about a baby girl who was born with a genetic defect and would die within the week. The baby's mother couldn't bear the pain, so left the baby under the care of the nurses in the NICU. Our male friend held this precious baby an entire night, feeding her when she cried, and holding her while she slept. That precious baby died days later, but she had someone to hold her in the name of Jesus.

There is a difference between physical and spiritual safety. God does not promise His people the former, though Christ promises that not a hair will fall from our heads apart from His appointment. He also promises that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Nothing can snatch us from the Good Shepherd's hand--on a deployment, in the NICU, under the weight of sin, or shuddering in the night from a nightmare.

This morning, as I was preparing to leave for the last part of the conference, my wife heard my boy in his room crying "My daddy, my daddy, my daddy." She grabbed him and brought him downstairs and I held him for a few minutes before I left, his head resting on my shoulder. He was safe. May I follow my son's example and heart-cry as I bring my sin and weakness to the safety of our true Daddy.

There is no unsafe place within the fold of God's grace.