A soldier was telling me that his younger brother recently walked in on his mom and her boyfriend while they were engaging in sordid acts. It was traumatizing for the young man.
But he can't tell his mother this, because he would be trying to keep her from being happy. That is why she divorced their dad--he wasn't making her happy. Now she is with someone who makes her happy and doing things that make her happy. Who cares about the kids?
Marriage is not meant to make me happy. It is meant to show the world how a man and woman can love each other even when unhappy, reflecting the love of God for His unlovable people.
My wife is the joy and delight of my heart. What do I do if I am unhappy with her or our marriage? I get over it. And I redouble my efforts to serve her and bring her joy.
Marriage is sanctifying. It is meant to kick the snot out of our selfishness. It is a strict school master, teaching me to love my wife more and love myself less.
As I learn this lesson, I graduate to parenthood, which is, guess what, sanctifying. It kicks the snot out of my selfishness all over again and teaches me to love those who can't love me back.
Yet most of my soldiers look back on the tattered remains of love in their own upbringing and find little hope for marital love. If marriage is about making me happy, then my marriage is over.
May God in His infinite wisdom draw selfish sinners closer together and teach us of the sanctifying power of marriage and its powerful witness to the cross of Christ, where the God-man gave His life for the life of His Bride, the Church.
