Always worth the read. Camille Paglia is a first-generation feminist, lesbian, and libertarian who is incredibly intelligent, witty, and eloquent. Some of her ruminations regarding men and society were recently put forth in a Wall Street Journal interview, along with an intriguing insight regarding the military: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303997604579240022857012920.
The slow wrap-up. I conducted my last "No BS BS (Bible Study)" last week. Today, I will be participating in Operation Outreach for the final time. Bit by bit, various parts of this deployment are coming to a close. This reality hit me hard a little while ago when I shredded a bunch of my papers, including the print-outs of my little boy that I kept on the wall. My heart stopped for a moment when I put those pictures through the shredder. I hadn't even realized that those print-outs were part of my emotional survival and were, in a sense, what I knew of my little boy. The pain of pushing through the shredder will give way to the joy of holding him. The papers were but types and shadows of the greater reality to come.
Couch critics. One of the participants in most all of my services and studies out here is a retired soldier-turned-contractor who has gone to seminary and done some mission work in the Middle East. He also has a permanent look of skepticism etched on his face for every service and study and is eager to expose the tiniest of inconsistencies or misspoken words that he notices. Some other chaplains say they quickly lose patience with such a man, as I am oft-tempted to do. But with that frequent temptation comes accompanying conviction that there is a member like that in every church, and I am called to feed the sheep, not some sheep, and I am also always in need of sanctification and such couch critics are poignant agents of that gracious work of God. May I be taught greater humility and be encouraged to be more knowledgeable and gracious, by God's grace.
The continuing aftermath. I continue to meet with the soldier who lost his friend in the VBIED attack two day ago, both morning and evening. I am encouraged by this soldier's introspection and honesty in examining and articulating what he is thinking and feeling. I noticed yesterday afternoon that this soldier was much more composed than he was in the morning, but when he mentioned his friend's wife, he began to tear up before moving on. I stopped him at one point and made this observation and asked him "Does it hurt the most when you think of (this friend's) wife, or perhaps what it would be like for your wife if it was you?" He choked out "Both" and started to sob.
I understand. Most soldiers, myself included, don't fear death in and of itself. We fear that we might fail our country by not acting when we should, or failing our families because we do act when we should. And we tell our wives a million statistic meant to comfort them, but statistics do nothing with regard to God's providence. The soldier I am counseling goes out on convoy missions with his team 4-5 times a week along the same route where the attack occurred. The soldier who was killed was only down here for a couple of days to visit his wife. The reality is that the worst couple happen to anyone, and after all the various planning and safety checks, it all comes down to God's providence. He gives life. He takes it. May His name be praised.
My soldier mentioned that on the bright side, this wife is able to accompany the body of her husband home. They are on their way to Dover now. I don't know whether that gives me solace or makes me want to weep.
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