You might remember a lower enlisted soldier I recently counseled who lost his cool during another soldier's promotion and was subsequently insubordinate to a number of NCOs, including a Sergeant Major (SGM). The SGM could have busted this soldier down a rank, but instead gave him a new opportunity to turn in his packet for a promotion.
You might remember that I also believe this soldier has a case of "learned helplessness"--negatively interpreting every circumstance to fit a narrative in which he is helpless. Such people will often say "This always happens to me!" or "This is just my life right now!" or "This is just who I am!" Such people are also setting themselves up for failure. It also goes hand-in-hand with the sociological trend of victimization in our culture--a trend which is morally corrosive in that it negates personal responsibility and demonizes others who could help or be helped.
Well, a few days after the SGM handed this soldier both a pardon and a renewed opportunity to advance, I asked this soldier about that gift. He basically told me that it meant nothing--it was more than likely that he would get screwed again by this unit. "That's the right attitude," I sarcastically thought to myself. Naturally, when his packet was pushed back with a handful of minor revisions to make (coincidentally enough, by the soldier whose own promotion triggered this saga), this soldier said, in essence, "F- the unit. I'm not doing that." He then was disrespectful to several NCOs.
This soldier has issued virtually every complaint one might expect to explain away his circumstances. "It's the Reserves!" "It's this jacked up unit!" "It's the NCOs, who don't take care of soldiers." "It's the whole chain of command." "They are all racists" (because he's white, most of the senior NCOs are black, and several of the recently promoted soldiers are black).
One of the many problems of learned helplessness (aside from its inevitable development into anger or depression and negative effect of physical health) is that if the problem is outside of you (see above), then you leave yourself with no opportunity for improvement. By making yourself a victim, you have eliminating any opportunity to exercise responsibility and improve. So this soldier languishes, though he is a good soldier, bright, and diligent, because his primary identity is as victim.
It is important for us not to simply condemn this modern culture of victimization. If it is indeed tied to learned helplessness, then the victims should also be pitied. A number of external factors, combined with individual depravity, turned a generation of children into perpetual children. The young person in the inner city, for example, is often taught that he is helpless against the whims of a prejudiced society and against the pull of the hood, which will inevitably make him a father without a wife and an inmate without hope of professional advancement. He is still morally culpable for the decisions he makes, but he also deserves compassion.
Instead of decrying the culture, let us work within the culture to replace self-victimization and the corresponding sense of entitlement with personal responsibility and hope. We should tell the young boy from the broken family that he could raise up a whole family, filled with hope and love. We should tell the young girl who was abused that she has dignity and worth and does not need to expect a lifetime of abuse, but can be treated with dignity and worth.
Ultimately, the ground of all of this should be the person and work of Jesus Christ, Who proclaims dignity for all mankind and imbues all life with responsibility, significance, and hope for those who know He lived the perfect life and died the atoning death necessary for their salvation.
FYI, here's a couple of brief You Tube videos engaging some of the primary critiques of Christianity. Hope you find them helpful: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8oIOkAqgPGcF4gNM33a_ZG977CPv-2Td.
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