I love it when soldiers are thinking in moral terms. We live in a very pragmatic society where we often ask "What works?" or "What can we do?" as opposed to "What should we do?" Morality is often not often a serious consideration, though discretion and self-restraint is part of what distinguishes us from animals.
And the reality is that all people have a conception of morality, even if not explicity. Even when one extols the virtues of moral relativism, he likely won't exercise that relativism in practice (i.e., killing people willy-nilly, and even if he does kill people, he will probably discriminate between strangers, children, family, etc.--which still shows moral discernment).
I wonder sometimes if the greater cultural problem we face is not moral relativism, but a self-serving morality. I think most people can be convinced that morality is not relative, but the greater issue still needs to be pressed: Why does your conception of morality excuse or condemn the moral choices of others, but no longer applies when it reaches your doorstep?
I had a soldier come to my office the other night. I appreciate this soldier, as he is devoted to his little daughter, who is currently living with her mom. I also appreciated his rationale for why he trusted his girlfriend at home--"She hasn't ever slept with a man." He knew that such previous restraint made it more likely that she would show restraint against temptation while he is deployed. I was somewhat appalled, however, when he added "Until me, that is."
As I don't know this soldier particularly well, and he was just passing through my office, I knew it was not the time to pick at his glaring and self-serving inconsistency. I asked more about his daughter, and encouraged him in his thoughts about marrying his girlfriend. Many young men his age view women as means to their personal, pleasurable end (and an increasingly number of young women are thinking in the same terms). When a young person talks of marriage, and the sacrifice it requires, it gives me hope.
Back to his inconsistency--this soldier loved his girlfriend's prior celibacy for his own sake, but what if he doesn't marry her? What if the next boyfriend shares this man's standard and resents the fact that this woman has now lost her virginity? This soldier extolled his girlfriend's morality as long as it paid dividends for it, but he had no problem exploiting it as soon as it served his interest. Does our morality apply only until the choices arrive at our front door? Do we abide by commands like "Thou shalt not sex thy neighbor, unless thy neighbor is mineself?"
We are all hypocrities, and there are two types of hypocrites in this world. There are those hypocrities who fail to maintain a standard that is greater than themselves. They firmly believe that pride is a sin, but gosh darnit, they still wrestle with pride on a daily basis. But these hypocrites do not justify their behavior. They recognize it as wrong and seek continual improvement.
Then there are those hypocrites who believe they are the greater standard. They hold others to a particular standard that they define, but they stand above their own law. They are the type who will say "You are not allowed to sleep with my sister, but I will help myself to yours." They are moral absolutists toward you and me, but only resort to relativism when it comes to justifying their own behavior.
Jesus Christ, though incarnated as human, submitted himself perfectly to God's divine law, through which he resisted the temptations of the great Tempter, lived a sinless life, and at the precipice of death, declared "Not my will, but Yours be done." He was the one unhypocritical man, and He lived this sinless life and submitted to death in service to the glory of God and redemption of the self-righteous hypocrites (including you and me) who nailed Him to the cross. His was the very opposite of a self-serving morality, for He came as a servant.
May more bow the knee to the Servant-King of this world, rather than to their own self-interests (Phil. 2).
I hope this soldier marries his girlfriend and displays a selflessness that hitherto has not been his M.O. But if his exploitative morality is brought into that marriage, then his poor girlfriend would be merely a means to his personal, pleasurable end. If they do not get married, I hope the next boyfriend would not display the same condemning approach toward past indiscretions and exploiting approach toward the present. I hope he would approach the gal with a redemptive heart, seeking to secure her in an unconditional love in light of the cross, where Jesus bore God's just condemnation so we might live in the light of His grace.
And may God has mercy on His bride, the Church, where we are increasingly tempted to replace the "right" hypocrisy (version 1) for the wrong one (version 2), and make ourselves self-righteous kings of morality rather than humble ambassadors for the rightful King (2 Cor. 5).
