At the tail end of this time away, I would like to reflect on some of the "big picture" items that will have an enduring impact after this deployment. I will get the ball rolling with highlights...
5) Controversial Conversations
Soon after our mobilization began in Texas, a senior ranking officer sought me out and began to engage me on issues pertaining to marriage and sexuality. It turns out that besides being a practicing homosexual, he also was a crusader for "marriage equality" within the military and in society more generally. While his tunnel vision on the issue (all conversations directed back to it) was often disconcerting, the opportunities for cordial discussions, clear distinctions, and compassionate discernment was all more than encouraging.
We disagree sharply on this issue, which is far more important for him than it is for me, but he is a friend and I hope he takes me up on the offer to stay with us whenever he's in the DC area. Likewise, my unofficial assistant "Run Master" is a "married" lesbian. We worked well together and I expressed empathy when she was having relational struggles. She likewise has an open invitation to stay with us if ever in DC.
When set outside of the unfortunate paradigm of the culture wars, we are reminded that the key issue is that of spiritual warfare (Eph. 6)--some are saved by grace through faith in Christ, others need to be. Our goal must be gracious and truthful engagement with the friends God has placed in our lives.
4) Constant Counseling
I did not have any crisis counseling cases (i.e., someone with a weapon in his/her mouth), but I had many consequential counseling cases. Early on in Texas, I was focused on three soldiers: one who was perhaps not mentally equipped for this deployment, one who was confronting the demons of getting "blowed up" on a previous deployment, and another whose horrific childhood in Africa was re-lived in the cruel realties of war. The first was removed from our deployment roster, the second is a few short months away from succesfully completing her deployment, and the final one was sent home from Afghanistan for medical reasons.
Later, those cases gave way to a man who was considering ending his marriage (he didn't) and two soldiers who lost a father back in the States. Both are now faring well.
At my final post, counseling began with a team leader who carried his PTSD from prior deployments into work everyday, and an immature believer with a flurry of doubts and questions about the faith. The former soldier went home with our first wave, still intact, and the latter seemed to be softening and growing in the faith by the time I left.
There was a flurry of more dramatic cases at the very end, when a soldier whose engagement was falling apart came to me for emergency counseling. We met 1-2 times a week for the final month. The relationship is over, but the possibility of it being restored on a more solid footing is real. In addition, there was the soldier who realized his friend, David Lyon, was lost to the VBIED. We met 4+ times that week, with constant, informal following-up. He is back at duty and doing well.
Like the conversations mentioned above, the counseling cases were not only a part of my calling as a chaplain, but a part of my calling as a sinner saved by grace. I learned anew that my own growth is dependent upon challenging engagments with the antagonistic and the despondent.
