Military commanders will always work strenuously to avoid what is called a "two-front war." Ideally, the enemy is in front of you at all times--otherwise, you must divide your force and rely upon both lines to hold.
The soldier faces this two-front war every time he is deployed. He goes off to battle, while his wife holds down the homefront--taking care of children, finances, other jobs, etc--and all without the help of her spouse. The role of the military spouse in such times is absolutely crucial--the soldier is generally safe as long as both fronts hold.
There is a reason why the number one cause of suicides in the military is not deployments, but broken relationships. That is why the military invests so heavily in Strong Bonds and other family support programs. In order to successfully fight, the soldier must know that he returns to a secure home.
This is the unforgotten sacrifice of the US soldier and his family. If I did an informal poll of my soldiers about the hardest part of this deployment, the overwhelming response would not be the threat that is before them, but the precious things they are leaving behind. It could also be realistically asserted that the family has a harder time than the soldier. He has a weapon in the fight. All they have is a helpless hope.
I take exception to Rachel Maddow on a whole host of issues, but one point she nails in her recent book on foreign policy, Drift, is that there has never been a greater gap between the military and mainstream society. Our military--not our country--has been engaged in the most protracted conflicted in its history. Never has the military--including its Reserve branches--been deployed more in service of our country. And never has it been less acknowledged. One of the questions that my soldiers hate the most, and hear often, when they mention their deployment is "We're still in Afghanistan?" At least in Vietnam, with all of the unjustified hatred of the drafted American soldier, people still paid attention.
About three years ago, I started to thank military wives and children for their service. They are the great, unnoticed heroes of our country. You will not recognize them by what they wear, but by what they bear.
The military wife is the hero of the homefront, giving up what is most precious to her so the wife next door can enjoy the warmth of her husband at night, and the kids playing in the neighbor's yard can do so without wondering if daddy will come home.
I am incredibly blessed to know that my wife not only took up this life-denying burden, but is working, even as a new mom, to support other wives who bear this same burden. She invests her tears in others' pain.
I ask each of you, as you generously remember me and my soldiers in your prayers, to remember our wives and children. In almost a decade of warfare in Iraq, and over a decade in Afghanistan, the attrition rate of military marriages is horrendous. The toll of numerous deployments is overwhelming. Please pray not only for the military family, but if you meet one, thank them for their service and if possible, support them as they endure so much to support their husband/daddy as he supports our country.
